2016上海中考英语作文评分（上海中考英语作文真题及范文） - 作文仓库

2016上海中考英语作文评分【一】

1。头绪分明，脉络清楚

写好记叙文，首先要头绪分明，脉络清楚，明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析，弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程，然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”，但动笔之前，围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。

2。突出中心，详略得当

在文章的框架确定后，对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍，应该从表现文章主题的需要出发，分清主次，定好详略。要突出重点，详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节，略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化，使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题，也需要一定的技巧。如：

One night a man came to our house and told me， "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。

When I finally came to that family， I saw the faces of those little children disfigured （破坏外貌） by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces， just the deep pain of hunger。

I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two， and went out， carrying half the rice。 When she came back， I asked her， "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer， "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"

3。用活语言，准确生动

记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动，又要表现力强，这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动，其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。

原文：

One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then， two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money， but they didn＇t take it。 She served them with tea but they left。

修改后：

The other day， five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time， he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home， he started and crying。 Just then， two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。

"Little boy， why are you standing here crying?" they asked。

"I want Mom， I go home。" said the boy， still crying。

"Don＇t worry， we＇ll send you home。"

And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy＇s house。 With the help of a policeman， they finally found it。

When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound， she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully， she offered them some money， saying it was a way to express her thanks， but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。

2016上海中考英语作文评分【二】

Shanghai Disneyland will be open soon, as the day is so close, there are all kinds of trial run information released. The public is so looking forward to it and they want to have the honor become the first visitors. While after scanning the released information, they feel unsatisfied.

上海迪士尼乐园很快就要开放了,由于距离开放日子是如此的接近,各种各样的试行信息发布了出来。公众是如此的期待,他们希望能有荣幸成为第一批游客。然而在浏览了发布信息后,他们感到不满意。

The first is about the high entrance ticket. According to the average ticket of about 400 RMB, a family always need to pay at least for 3 persons, which means it takes them more than 1000 RMB. It is only the lowest budget for the local visitors, while for the nonlocal visitors, they need to pay for the hotel, which is a great expense.

第一个是关于高价格的门票。根据平均一张门票约400元,一个家庭总是需要支付至少3人,这意味着他们需要支付超过1000元人民币。然而最低的预算只是对于当地游客来说,而对于外地游客,他们需要支付酒店,这是一笔巨大的开销。

The second is the food in Disneyland. The offcial website has listed the price that offered in the amusement park. A beef burger with cheese is 80 RMB, a child-sized hot dog is 60 RMB and so on. Many people think it is such high price for them to pay. In that way, a family only pays for the food will cost more than 500 RMB!

第二个是迪斯尼乐园的食物。官方网站列出了游乐园提供的食物价格。一个牛肉汉堡和奶酪是80元,一个儿童的热狗是60元等等。许多人认为这是很高的价格。这样的话,一个家庭光支付食物就要超过500元!

The trial run of Shanghai Disneyland exposes many problems and the public concerns about the price. Maybe adjusting the price can attracts more tourists.

上海迪士尼乐园的试行反应了许多问题，公众关心的是价格。也许调整价格可以吸引更多的游客。

2016上海中考英语作文评分【三】

导入：

第1段：Recently we’ve had a discussion about whether we should... (导入话题

Our opinions are divided on this topic.(观点有分歧

正文：

第2段：Most of the students are in favour of it.(正方观点

Here are the reasons. First... Second... Finally...(列出2~3个赞成的理由

第3段：However, the others are strongly against it. (反方观点

Their reasons are as follows. In the first place... What’s more... In addition...(列出2~3个反对的理由

结论：

第4段：Personally speaking, the advantages overweigh the disadvantages, for it will do us more harm than good, so I support it.(个人观点オ

2016上海中考英语作文评分【四】

一是“源波讨源”、“依文论文”。“源波讨源”即要求阅卷老师要充分明白手头的作文，是考生在特殊场合和有限时间里写的“急就章”，且中学生阅历有限，因此阅卷老师应根据中学生的实际情况来评阅，按照中学生的思路来理解，不能按成人的标准来进行评价。“依文论文”就是，阅卷老师要按照文章的体裁来充分理解文章，是什么体裁（议论、说明或记叙）就按什么体裁标准来评价，不能有个人的好恶。

二是“立足给分，不立足扣分”。刘教授说，一般老师往往喜欢对学生的文章“找问题”，但考虑到考生写的是“急就章”，所以阅卷老师应立足于尽量发现考生的“闪光点”，今年作文强调感情真挚，内容充实，文体符合。此外还鼓励考生的个性发展，“个性”就是“闪光点”，因此在发展等级分方面，只要涉及标答中的一点，就可给分，直至满10分。

三是“以宽容开放心态评阅”。刘教授说，今年强调老师要以宽容、开放心态评阅考生作文。凡是和话题沾边（所谓“进了门槛”）的作文，都不当作偏题处理，当然要宽严有度。此外，鼓励阅卷老师敢于给考生作文打满分，“满分作文允许有个别瑕疵存在”。

四是“通过阅卷起到一定导向作用”。刘教授说，高考作文评卷要体现导向作用，促进教育向素质教育发展。比如说，现在倡导作文应告别模式化，端正文风，内容与形式统一，摒弃华而不实的、空洞的.东西。今年作文强调是否体现了考生的独自的、真实的生活和情感体验，思维状态是否清晰、有序展现，是否有“我”在（即个性化）。刘教授还说，今年对作文十分重视“符合文体”这一点。因此，像那种追求形式华丽、文体怪异的文章，将不受欢迎，“非驴非马”（即文体不正）的文章，不可能得高分。

据刘教授介绍，今年高考语文评卷还将严格控制速度，每位老师每天只能评120份试卷，落实到每份作文上，阅卷时间平均在4．5分钟左右。以前有媒体曾报道高考作文评分“90秒钟定生”，这在我省是无稽之谈。

2016上海中考英语作文评分【五】

导入：

第1段：提出一种现象或某种困难作为议论的话题

正文：

第2段：Many ways can help to solve this serious problem, but the following may be most effective. First of all... Another way to solve the problem is ... Finally...(列出2~3个解决此类问题的办法

结论：

第3段：These are not the best but the only two/ three measures we can take. But it should be noted that we should take action to...(强调解决此类问题的根本方法

2016上海中考英语作文评分【六】

I was born in a beautiful town with high mountains around it.The mountains are covered with all kinds of green bamboo.Through the town runs a small stream.It’s said that a new railway is going to be built to the east of the town and a bamboo factory to the west.All the children of the school age can go to school.If anyone is ill,he can go to see the doctor in the newly-built hospital.People in the town are hard-working and never take the backwardness lying down.Though they are having a richer and better life,they are not satisfied with what they have got.They are working hard to build their town into a modern one.

2016上海中考英语作文评分【七】

Last Sunday, Jim went out to fly a kite. The kite flew highly in the sky. Jim ran with it happily.

Suddenly the line was broken and the kite flew away. Soon it disappeared. Where was it?

Jim had no idea. So he had to run here and there to look for the kite. At last he saw it on the top of the tree. He tried to get it down. But he couldn’t. He felt sad.