【习作题目】
Students Grading of Their Teachers
1.学生给老师打分已很普遍;
2.人们对其持不同态度(肯定或否定的态度);
3.你的看法。
【习作解读】
显然,此任务是写一篇议论文,主题为对学生给老师打分的现象进行议论,开放性较大。学生应根据实际情况,从多个方面阐述其原因并表达自己对这种现象的观点和态度。该话题更加贴近学生的实际生活,但有一定的语言难度,也有一定的思想深度。通过此文的写作,也从侧面提示了学生在注重写作基础训练的前提下,也应该注重培养积极思考、灵活运用、自由发挥等能力。
此次的写作任务出题相当巧妙,写作内容涉及的词汇和句型都属于新课程标准范围。题目在考查学生写作能力的同时,也在考查学生的分析判断能力及高度概括能力。富有想象力的学生写出的文章可能生动而富有灵性。此题目能引发学生对平日习以为常的行为进行反思,学会换位思考,这对中学生的性格和品德培养非常重要。
【习作展示】
Students Grading of Their Teachers
Nowadays, a lot of schools ask their students to contribute to grading their teachers. As a teacher, it is their responsibility to satisfy their students in all aspects. Meanwhile, it is admirable that school teachers prefer to expose themselves to their students.
If the system of grading of teachers by students is introduced, it will benefit students, teachers and the administration of the school for a number of reasons. For one thing, the system will give teachers and the administration of the school an insight into the minds of the students and show whether the teachers are successful in getting their lessons understood by the students; for another, it will also encourage the good teachers to continue their efforts and motivate themselves. What is more, it will expose those who are not doing enough and will lead them to correct their teaching methods as well as their attitude towards students. Thus the quality of teaching will certainly improve.
In a word, it is a promising concept and will bring surprisingly good results if applied with the right conditions.
【习作点评】
作者观点明确,赞成学生给老师打分。作为老师,就要做一个让学生满意的老师。这样,不仅对学生、学校有利,而且对老师本人也有利。这样,老师就会从另一个角度重新审视自己,看自己是否是一个成功的老师。如果得到学生的认可,这将是对自己的一次鼓励,为继续前行增添动力。如果学生的认可度不高,老师就应进行反思,调控教学方法和教学态度。这样,教学质量肯定会提高。作
者用简洁、明快的语言以及自己的经历列举了充分的论据,内容充实,贴近生活。For one thing, for another, what is more, in a word等过渡词的使用,是短文结构清晰,层次分明。最后,最值得一提的是,文中多次正确运用的高级词汇和复杂句式,给文章增添了不少文采。综上所述,这是一篇不可多得的佳作,值得向大家推荐。
二、写作模板
此模板适用于社会现象类议论文。参考模式如下:
Nowadays, there exists an increasingly serious social/economic/environmental There are a couple of reasons behind this problem/phenomenon. For one ;Based on the above discussions, I can easily forecast that more and more people
Nowadays, there exists a common phenomenon—with the development of the Internet, more and more people tend to send electronic cards instead of paper ones to their friends and relatives when an important holiday comes.
There are a couple of reasons behind this phenomenon. For one thing, compared with the traditional cards, electronic cards are more lively and interesting. They can give not only pictures but also sound and animation. For another, there are many websites online which offer varieties of cards for you to choose from. What is more, with the popularity of the electronic cards, less paper is used in making paper cards, which does good to our environment.
Based on the above discussions, I can easily forecast that sending greetings by using electronic cards will be accepted by more and more people, not only the young ones.
三、写作指导
写作思路是先列出一个具体的社会问题或者现象,然后分析产生的原因和产生的影响,最后提出解决问题的办法,或者得出结论,或者提出个人看法,或者预测前景。
论点、论据、论证是议论文的三要素。论点是作者对所议论问题所持有的见解和主张,论据是用来证明论点的事实和道理的根据;论证是用论据来证明论点的方法和过程。一般来说,议论文每段都有主题句来确定论点。论证的方法很多,但最常用的是因果分析法。即:分析事实与论点的因果关系,指出取得结果的原因是所要证明的论点,从而达到论证的目的。
在近几年的高考中,议论文的比重占得越来越多,议论文的.出题形式可以多种多样,有看图写作、图表、表格、书信等各种类型,但文体实际是议论文,而有时是夹叙的议论文。议论文的写作要点是:
1. 观点鲜明,文章一定有一个明确的中心论点。
2. 层次分明,一个中心论点通常有几个分论点支持,不同层次之间要分明,过渡清晰自然。
3. 最后一段一般要总结全文,得出一个符合逻辑的结论,突出中心思想。
4. 一般采用一般现在时。
5. 语言简洁有力,一般不采用口语。
四、巩固练习
1.【练习题目】
2010年上海世界博览会期间,上万的青年志愿者参加志愿工作,请你谈谈对此现象的看法。
【参考范文】
During the period of holding the 2010 World Expo in Shanghai, tens of thousands of young citizens are participating in volunteer work, hoping to devote themselves to the grand occasion. As far as I am concerned, everyone ought to enter for it. Here are the reasons I want to mention.
It can be argued that the advantages of doing unpaid volunteer work are enormous, because volunteer work is actually a two-way street. First of all, volunteer work should always benefit people who need help. Those who need help will feel happier due to our immediate help. On the other hand, as far as the young people ourselves are concerned, we have more opportunities to develop the sense of responsibility, independence as well as interpersonal skills in the process of helping others.
Through this kind of work, we become confident and mature. In addition, we can make many friends and increase our chances of getting the jobs of our dreams. Furthermore, volunteer work plays an active role in building up a harmonious society.
In a word, it is of great value for the young adults to offer volunteer work. The youth volunteers do make a difference by the voluntary work! Why not join them and do something for our country?
2.【练习题目】
某些中学生为了显示自己成熟或表明自己醋而吸烟。请写一篇120词左右的短文,列举吸烟的危害,并提出建议。
【参考范文】
I am sorry to know that more and more middle school students begin to smoke. I think it is wrong to believe that smoking is cool and even think that smoking makes you appear to be mature. In fact, smoking is not cool but very dangerous.
First, smoking can do much damage to health. Scientific researches show that smoking can lead to heart diseases, cancers and other problems. It is reported that about 5 million people die of diseases related to smoking each year all over the world.
Second, it is a waste of money to smoke cigarettes. Smoking can cost a great deal of money. Once you are addicted to it, it is difficult to give it up.
What’s more, smoking can cause fires easily, which may do great damage to your life and your surroundings.
So give up smoking at once! Only in this way can you keep healthy forever.
3. 【练习题目】近年来,越来越多的中学生出国学习,出现了所谓的中学生“出国热”。请根据以下提供的信息,谈谈自己的看法。
1)良好的语言环境,更利于语言学习。
2)拓宽视野,学习国外先进的科学技术。
3)传播各民族间的不同文化。
参考词汇:媒介,中间人:mediator
【参考范文】
In recent years, studying abroad has been popular. Tens of thousands of Chinese middle school students have gone to foreign countries to study.Many people are trying their best to apply to go abroad.
There are a number of reasons for attending schools abroad.First, students who are studying abroad can act as mediators between people of different cultures. They can communicate with each other directly and learn about different cultures. Second, they can learn much more advanced knowledge of science and technology from foreign countries and experience different education methods.Third, they live in foreign countries and take classes given by foreign teachers. As a result, they can learn foreign languages much more quickly.
Therefore, it is advisable to attend schools abroad.
4.【练习题目】随着经济和社会的发展,道路上的私人小汽车越来越多。请根据自己的观察和理解,谈谈自己的观点。
【参考范文】
With the fantastic development both in economy and in society in China, the number of people who own private cars is on the rise. Some people have bought cars of their own, and others are planning to buy cars. But I strongly object to the increase in developing private cars.
I hold that automobiles will give rise to a series of problems. In the first place, as more and more cars are produced and run on the road, a large volume of poisonous gas will be given off, polluting the atmosphere and causing actual harm to the health of people. Next, private cars contribute to traffic jams so greatly that the advantages gained in comfort and freedom are often cancelled out by the frustration caused by traffic jams. The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a friction of a second.
In a word, although automobiles have been playing a vital part in the daily activities of our society, they also bring us numerous troubles such as more serious environmental pollution, more traffic accidents and more energy consumption. They drink up huge amounts of fuel and throw out huge amounts of pollutants. Jams waste our precious time. Therefore, I am against developing private cars.
鉴于不想剧透文中过多的细节,我们在这里只给出一些我们的观点。事实上,我们认为科纳维尔的问题并不在于我们潜意识中的所谓“无组织”,而在于它本身的社会组织难以和周围的社会结构融为一体。
对科纳维尔青年而言,他们的抉择本身存在着冲突:他们要么进入商业和共和党政治的'世界,或者进入民主党政治和非法活动团体的世界。如果他在第一个世界发展,那么他会受到整个社会的承认,但在科纳维尔他永远是一个异己分子;相反地,如果在第二个世界中生存,他大概会成为一个被社会抛弃的人。
结合书中,当地的很多意大利青年(包括大学生和一些街角帮领袖)都试图融入美国社会。又因为这些青年无法摆脱自己意大利人的认知,他们都陷入了这样一种冲突,这也就增加了他们离开科纳维尔的难度。
由此可见,一方面,当地人的看法导致了这种情况的发生和某种意义上的加剧;但另一方面,来自上述文化冲突的另一方——美国的影响也是显而易见的。在美利坚所谓“多元与包容”的文化外衣下,它与生俱来的排他性也激化了这种状况。
只有科纳维尔出现更多文中奇克所代表的开放价值观,美国社会的这种偏见才会减少,那时才会形成文化的真正融合。
每当心情低落困顿,或是渐渐失去生活的热情,因倦怠而随波逐流的时候,美食或者美食电影,往往是治愈脾胃与心灵的最好良药。而其中最为温暖慰藉的又属日本的料理电影;无论是细品岁月人生的《深夜食堂》,还是带来勇气与希望的《南极料理人》,甚至融入穿越元素的《月代头布丁》,没有惊心动魄的故事,不耍花式,也非关风月,电影和电影中的美食,纯粹的惟有“用心”二字倾筑而成!
听说不同于法国人更多将美食升华至艺术与创作的绝高境界,日本人却是将料理奉为通往幸福的不二门径!食者品尝到的是久久难忘的好滋味,会因悸动而喜悦,观者在饱享眼福的同时,会因感动而满足!
这部《街角洋果子店》也是如此,做事向来认真精细的日本人,用细腻柔和的画面,悠然婉转的配乐,讲了一个以美食为衣,内在的故事;和风洋风相得益彰,道道精致融情的西式糕点,看上去有着阳光般的灿烂和自信,款款入心的美味,带给每位客人幸福的同时,也救赎了灵魂上自我圈囿的糕点大师,点燃了懵懂莽撞的夏目心中潜藏的梦想。
这是我第二次看到小优主演的美食片,相较于《料理仙姬》中那个风趣幽默,有着天然古味的一升庵老板娘来说,乡下女孩夏目不知天高地厚,盲目任性的性格实在不讨喜;无论是对爱情,还是对自身认识,都是一根经的傻气!
最初为了寻爱,误闯误撞进街角洋果子店,刚开始的白目无知惹来不少冷眼,不过看着她对西洋糕点真心的热爱,干起活来一股子拼劲,慢慢开始喜欢上这个虽然乡土气息浓厚,却知道默默努力的夏目。。
在哪摔倒,就从哪站起来,在爱情上失去安全感的夏目,从烹饪糕点里渐渐找到成就感,也找到了生活的方向;同样因意外事故,而自我放弃的糕点大师十村,还是因为对西点的热爱,解开心结,勇敢面对未知的一切!
故事虽然老梗,许久不见的江口洋介,却带来了最为惊喜的表现:在美食界被人称赞崇拜的西点大师,却是活在无尽后悔与愧疚中的父亲,之前隐忍的平静,在打开心门的刹那,将往事的遗憾化作决堤的`泪水,冲破悔恨与懦弱;为了实现对女儿的承诺,用心底最深沉的父爱,拯救自己,也拯救自己最珍惜的事业!
偶然看到有人提起这部片子,正好看到苍井优,看封面色调挺温暖的,就找来看了。
118分钟,接近两个小时的时间,还是挺漫长的。
也许是之前看过比较多类似情节的东西,不管是小说漫画或者电影,全剧看下来,起伏不是太大,感情也没有太大的波动,变得到最后,只是觉得——既然看,就看完好了。
苍井优的演技还是挺不错的,至少在喝醉酒之后的情绪变化,又哭又笑的感觉,转换的挺好的,至少在一个外行人看来,不太刻意。而且苍井优在评价中也是“治愈系美女”,演这样的片子也可以说是得心应手,收放自如吧。这次的片中出演的是一个来自鹿儿岛的乡下姑娘,带着浓重的口音,土气,脾气不太好,直来直往,倒也是个可爱的姑娘。
我想导演是想做出一个温暖治愈的感觉的片子吧,全剧的色调,拍摄的手法,都在往那个方向努力了,不过似乎重视了这个,就丢失了另一些东西。
开局,没多大问题。不过在十村一边奔跑一边回忆的时候违和感就来了。也许也是拍摄的手法的问题吧,不过在本人的看来,回忆的插入还是有点突兀的,节奏也不太对,可能是我不够专心吧,在回忆了那么十几秒之后我才意识到,哦,是在回忆黑历史啊。
按照电影的时间轴来说,是八年前的黑历史。到现在十村依旧无法释怀,无法重新进厨房做蛋糕,只是被动地接受蛋糕评论师的工作。照理来说是很深刻的,当然不否认时间是可以带走一些东西的——但是,怎么夏目就说了几句话就让他可以重新进厨房了呢?第一次是夏目初进店里,第二次是试吃夏目的新品,第三次是主厨受伤了夏目去十村家里找他——真要释怀的话,我想就算是我也不会那么容易就被攻陷的。个人觉得这边可以多加一点东西进去,会显得更饱满一点。
然后是麻里子和店里的常客芳川夫人,都是冷面心热的那种类型。经常日剧里都是会有这样的人,看起来冷冷的嘴巴很坏的人一般都是心地善良的好人——这也是表现温暖,治愈的手法吧。这里想说的就是芳川夫人吧,见过夏目的次数也不算太多,当然这边可以归为电影的手法,不过在芳川夫人吃过夏目的新品之后的评价并不是好的评价,但是在后面病床上吃的时候竟然说的是“非常好吃”,是可以理解导演这么安排的用意,不过总觉得铺垫不够,不够水到渠成吧。
影片最后安排的则是晚宴,“有小孩子”,是特意提到这个的吧,在看宾客名单的时候我就这么想,所以在后文也安排了孩子不爱吃主食,而更喜欢吃甜点的画面。在晚宴快结束的时候,夏目对十村说“听听我的`愿望吧,如果你听完我的愿望,哪里我都愿意跟你去的。”十村回答说,“别后悔啊。”我想这里是有想暗示结局吧,不过这个暗示却让最后拉着箱子离开的夏目显得又有点突兀了。当然拉着箱子离开也算是跟影片的开头对应,不过却跟那个小片段有点反差了。
总的来说,全片看下来,还是比较有欣赏性的,画面色调,颜值诱人的糕点,厨房内做蛋糕的各种手法,我想是加了不少分。以这些当噱头,我想是没错,不过如果其他部分不够出彩的话,这个片子能够停留的时间就短了。
静谧的日本街道,湛蓝的天空,灿烂的阳光,好看的甜点,坐落在繁华东京一角里的小店......向来对日本有偏见的我,第一次觉得,日本并不是那么讨厌了。
静谧的日本街道,湛蓝的天空,灿烂的阳光,好看的甜点,坐落在繁华东京一角里的小店......向来对日本有偏见的我,第一次觉得,日本并不是那么讨厌了。
故事发生在那一天,从乡下来的夏目对着一间甜品店扬起了率真的笑脸,像是得到了寻觅已久的珍贵之物。她是来寻找自己的男友的,却被告知,男友早已离开,无处可去的夏目只好恳求主厨让自己留下。这本是一场求爱之旅,却因为男友的变心,转变为一场寻梦之途。
醉了两天之后,夏目对爱情心,立下要成为日本最好的糕点师的誓言。“做的慢而且奶油太稀、糖浆调得不匀”这是一开始传说中的名西点师十村给她的评价,她并没有气馁,一步一步努力,不仅令苛刻的芳川夫人点名要吃她做的蛋糕,最终还协助十村完成了晚宴。
由森系鼻祖苍井优饰演的率真女孩夏目活力十足,靠着不撞南墙心不的精神彻底跟前男友闹掰;还直面说出十村的伤痛,逼迫他面对生活;虽与另一名店员麻里子格格不入,互相看不上对方,最后也相安无事,相互包容,维护洋果子店。
虽然影片有很多瑕疵,连我这种没看过多少片子,也没有什么审美的人都看得出来片子的衔接并不是很好,剧情发展也过于强硬,有很多事情没有交代清楚,我却爱上了日本的雨和街道。那种由画面而生的静谧,实在令我这种伪文艺女青年很动容啊!总是会想象在阳光灿烂的午后或者是淅淅沥沥的雨天,和这样一间甜品店邂逅,静坐一下午,那该是一件多么幸福的事啊。
充斥着城市繁华热闹镜头的大片有很多,我却有意无意地在回避那些片子,感觉,那些片子看多了,整个人会变得十分浮躁。纸醉金迷的世界,为什么人与人的差别就这么大,有人为了生计烦恼,有人却在奢侈店挥金如土?
反而是这种平平淡淡的片子,才能让我感到真实,还记得,夏目在拿到自己的第一笔工资时,是那么的开心。那时候还是真真实实的可以触摸到纸币,就好比朋友说的,只有在花纸币时,才觉得自己是真的在花钱。还有夏目去别的甜品店吃甜品时拿出手机拍下食物的满足样子,才是我们拍食物的初衷。不是发朋友圈,也不是为了上传到各种社交软件,单纯是因为我喜欢这种食物,我想记录下来。
片子中的夏目,除了几幕不知天高地厚的大吼大叫之外,是我羡慕的样子,直率而纯真,容易满足。
我自认有很大的,也有不可描述的贪念,这是我目前的经济能力所不能满足的。所以,在听到或者看到别人谈论我所不能满足自己的东西时,我会一直隐忍,假装听不到,竭力安慰自己,知足常乐。
也许,这样我才能真正的活得开心一点吧。
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