对那篇已经见诸媒体的被提高到64分的作文,黄玉峰老师则提出了自己的看法,认为如果中学生们模仿该文的文体和立意,以为这样的“创新”就能在高考中得高分,这就很有可能形成误导,因为高考作文毕竟不是文艺创作,更注重考查的是学生对社会生活的辨析能力和逻辑思维能力。
而彭世强老师也无奈地说,高考毕竟要求多拿分数,不能太冒险,对于平时写作水平处于中等以下的同学来说,最好不要轻易地搞所谓的“创新”,对于写作基础较好的同学来说,可以在角度、结构上赋予点新意,但也不能太标新立异,要能让阅卷老师在短时间内看得下去,说得直白一点,考生作文中有好的东西,要善于主动“喂”给阅卷老师。
Some fish are forced to leave polluted water and are flying in the sky. But unfortunately, air is also so polluted that they have to wear masks. Each of them is crying, “Where is my home?” What a terrible sight!
Mankind has brought so much pollution. Waste is being poured into rivers and seas. Poisons to kill pests in farming and chemicals go into rivers and seas, too. Poisonous gasses from factories also make the air so dirty. The whole balance of nature is being destroyed as a result of our ignorance of the environmental protection.
Personally, man can not live alone on the earth. Should fish die from serious pollution, so would man! It is high time we did something to prevent such a scene from happening.
本文格式正确,意思表述完整,行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用,还使用了以‘which,’引导的非限定性定语从句,从而使文章层次分明,富于变化,不愧为考场佳作。
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