1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
Last Sunday, Jim went out to fly a kite. The kite flew highly in the sky. Jim ran with it happily.
Suddenly the line was broken and the kite flew away. Soon it disappeared. Where was it?
Jim had no idea. So he had to run here and there to look for the kite. At last he saw it on the top of the tree. He tried to get it down. But he couldn’t. He felt sad.
从全国各地的中考作文题目来看,不少试题有“叙说真实故事”或“写出真情实感”之类的要求,一些同学为了让所写的事情意义“深刻”,所写的人物形象“高大”,喜欢凭空编造,任意拔高,结果出现了内容虚假的情况,2002年湖南某市一万多份中考作文中,这类文章达到了50%左右。有的写父母双亡,有的写亲人患绝症,有的写自己断腿断手,有的写“掉到了急流中”……由于缺乏生活,生编硬造时闹出了不少笑话,这类作文最让阅卷老师头疼,评分也往往偏低。如一位农村考生在《感激》一文中说:洪水暴发时,解放军给村民送来了海鲜,城里的小朋友给自己简易的住房安上了空调,内容如此失实!
Life has its ups and downs, and only true friends always stay around. Like anyone else, I have got many friends. They often help me when I’m in trouble. Especially, when I fail in an examination, they always care for me and encourage me to study harder. Last year, when I was hurt in a basketball game, my friends took me to the nearby hospital at once and look after me by turns. In my eyes, friends are the most precious wealth that one should treasure all his life.
从湖南某市一万多份作文的卷面来看,字迹完全看不清的多达500份以上,勉强看得清的占1/3,真正称得上美观的试卷只有3%。主要有三种情况:一是少部分同学对于汉字的书写特点没有掌握,不会写字;二是有些同学虽然态度端正,但由于平常没有注重练习,写出来的字不是东倒西歪,就是参差不齐,无法辨认;还有一部分同学字写得不错,但由于书写基础不太好,书写时缺乏耐心,以致字迹潦草。从评分看,书写分一般占4分,但它给作文带来的损失远不止这个分数,阅卷老师反映,对于无法看清的文章,评分是同类文章中最低的,60分作文评分一般在20—30分之间。相反,少数书写美观的作文,文章没有太大的特色,但评分往往比同等文章要高出2—4分。
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