文章线索明朗,主题突出,紧紧围绕思念爸爸进行。文章边叙事边抒情。结尾处集中表达情感,既照应开头又总结全文。首尾连贯,一气呵成。
美中不足的是:文章结尾处的永远一次用的不恰当。
文章语言虽朴实却令人感动,字里行间可以看出小作者对爸爸的想念。
I have a lot of friends in Simon English School. One of them is my best friend. His name is boyd.
He and I are both thirteen years old. but I am older than he, and I am fatter than he too. He is shorter than I, and he is thinner than I. He wears a pair of glasses but I don't.
He likes to eat pocket-food, and he is a gentleman in a sense that when he has pock-food he will share them with us.
He and I are in the same school and in the same class. So, we can help each other. We alway play in the school together. he likes to do thing I like. He lives in the Ningbo Jiangdong, so he hardly came to my home in Zhenghai but I alway go to his home on weekends and he sometimes will come to my home on weekends. Sometimes we will fight but we alway get along well.
His mother is a doctor in the Li-Hui-Li hospital and I know where her office is. His father is a worker in the Bei-Lun power plant. He is a head of a group. So, his father has a lot of work to do.
He and I are in the same school. We usually have a good time so he is my best friend.
How was your day off?Did you have fun playing volleyball?Iwas very happy in my day off.I went to the movie with my friends.That movie was interesting,and I went to my cousin's home.I played computer game with him.It was so great .I went to the gift shop and saw many nice gifts.Of course.I bought a gift for my friend. It was a really nice gift.Oh,that day was so great!See you soon!
Love,
Jack
你好,还记得我这个姐姐吗?我是那个整天板着脸进你们班维持纪律又经常坐在你旁边监督你的教导主任。或许因为我没给你上过课你已经忘了我,但我对你和你们班上好些个同学印象都极其深刻呢。
最初遇见你好像是一节课间你在和同学打架,被体育老师教训了一顿,接下来的那节手工课你就一直坐在位子上哭鼻子。我巡视班级的时候路过你们班看到了你,我走了进去,坐在你旁边。我不知道当时你是因为打架输了而哭泣还是因为老师骂你了你才哭的,但是你红着眼抽泣的样子引得我心疼了。
一开始我是不知道你的名字的,我坐在你的旁边,这节课老师教你们做邀请函,发来的纸已被你发脾气撕碎了扔在地上。你还赌气地把腿放到桌子上,我把你的脚轻轻拿下,告诉你这样是不文明的,你非是不听,又架了上去,我平时的威严又出来了,厉声对你吼了一句:你给我把脚放下!或许是突变的脸色吓到了你,你乖乖的把脚拿了下来,却又哭得更厉害了。我也很是无奈,旁边的.副队姐姐会雷州话,跑过来安慰你并且帮你写好了邀请函,我把你的本子拿出来,上面写着你的名字,噢,原来你叫国胤。
你终于不哭了,我也开始和你讲道理,你只是个不大的孩子,我也不期望你能听明白我话中的全部意思,但是我还是想要告诉你男儿有泪不轻弹这个道理,男子汉要坚强,哭哭啼啼像个女孩子一样会让同学笑话的。我问你为什么要打同学,你不答,还恼羞成怒动手打了我几下,其实不痛,但我佯装生气,轻轻地打了一下你的小屁股,你也就像得逞了一样笑得格外开心。
之后的每天,我都能在学校的每一个角落发现你的身影,而且都是上课时间,而你们班却并不是体育课,这意味着你逃课出来玩耍了。你见到是我先是跑过来想打我屁股,然后疯一般的跑开,不让我追到。我只能求助你最喜欢的嘉欣姐姐帮我一起把你赶了回去,让她守在你班门口不让你再跑掉。
国胤,你可能不是一个老师眼中的乖孩子,你很调皮,很爱玩,咳嗽了也不会吃药还一直买冰饮料喝,也很少和老师说话。
但你知不知道,你笑起来有两个酒窝,很可爱,尤其是你调皮地打我屁股的样子。虽然气得我牙痒痒却也对这种亲昵感到喜爱,你沉默不语的样子经常让我觉得你很有思想......
我可能不是你最喜爱的老师,但我在这十天里对你的影响非常的深,可能在每一个老师的心中乖巧的孩子和调皮的孩子都是占有一席之地的,你很成功的吸引了我的注意力,我写这封信,是为了告诉你,即使你不记得我了,我还是希望你能够知道,在老师心目中,你没有那么的不讨人喜欢,你还是一个很可爱的孩子,我和你的嘉欣姐姐会一直记得你的。但是你要好好听课,学会照顾好自己,少喝饮料,不要和同学打架。同学之间相亲相爱是最重要的,友谊天长地久,身体是年轻的本钱,知识可以改变命运。
祝你
天天开心
爱你的沐蓉老师
Zeng Qiao is one of my friends. She is a beautiful, outgoingand good-tempered girl. She smiles frequently. I think it’s her smile that makes her beauty. We live in the same dormitory, so that we always stay together, no matter going to classroom or having dinners. At first, I don’t like her very much, because she is always talking. It seems that she can’t stop open her mouth. I am a little bit quiet and introverted, so I seldom talk to others. But gradually, I find that she can have influence on others by what she says. Zeng Qiao likes sharing interesting things with others. For example, she likes telling us her funny stories of her childhood or her former classmates. She always tells me that I should be more extroverted and learn to talk to others. Under the influence of her, I communicate with others more frequently and I find that it feels so great. I am so grateful that I can have such a good friend.
曾巧是我的一个朋友,她是个漂亮活泼,脾气又好的女孩子。她很喜欢笑,我觉得是她的笑容使她看上去漂亮。我们住同一间宿舍,因此不管是去教室还是吃饭都形影不离。之前我并不喜欢她,我认为她太喜欢说话了,总是停不住她的嘴。相反我性格内向,喜欢安静,很少跟别人说话。但是渐渐地,我发现她是个善于用言语影响别人的女孩子,她喜欢跟别人分享有趣的事,那些童年的故事或是以前同学的事情。她经常开导我要变得外向,多试着跟别人说话。在她的.影响下,我跟别人交流也更多了,并且发现这感觉非常好。我觉得有这样的朋友很幸运!
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