Last Sunday, Jim went out to fly a kite. The kite flew highly in the sky. Jim ran with it happily.
Suddenly the line was broken and the kite flew away. Soon it disappeared. Where was it?
Jim had no idea. So he had to run here and there to look for the kite. At last he saw it on the top of the tree. He tried to get it down. But he couldn’t. He felt sad.
I was born in a beautiful town with high mountains around it.The mountains are covered with all kinds of green bamboo.Through the town runs a small stream.It’s said that a new railway is going to be built to the east of the town and a bamboo factory to the west.All the children of the school age can go to school.If anyone is ill,he can go to see the doctor in the newly-built hospital.People in the town are hard-working and never take the backwardness lying down.Though they are having a richer and better life,they are not satisfied with what they have got.They are working hard to build their town into a modern one.
1。 叙述的人称
英语的记叙文一般是以第一或第三人称的角度来叙述的。用第一称表示的是由叙述者亲眼所见、亲耳所闻的经历。它的优点在于能把故事的情节通过“我”来传达给读者,使人到真实可信,如身临其境。如:
The other day, I was driving along the street。 Suddenly, a car lost its control and ran directly towards me fast。 I was so frightened that I quickly turned to the left side。 But it was too late。 The car hit my bike and I fell off it。
用第三人称叙述,优点在于叙述者不受“我”活动范围以内的人和事物的限制,而是通过作者与读者之外的第三者,直接把故事中的情节展现在读者面前,文章的客观性很强。如:
Little Tom was going to school with an umbrella, for it was raining hard。 On the way, he saw an old woman walking in the rain with nothing to cover。 Tom went up to the old woman and wanted to share the umbrella with her, but he was too short。 What could he do? Then he had a good idea。
2。 动词的时态
在记叙文中,记和叙都离不开动词。所以动词出现率最高,且富于变化。记叙文中用得最多的是动词的过去的',这是英语记叙文区别于汉语记叙文的关键之处。英语写作的优美之处就在于这些动词时态的变化,正是这一点才使得所记、所叙有鲜活的动态感、鲜明的层次感和立体感。
3。 叙述的顺序
记叙一件事要有一定的顺序。无论是顺叙、倒叙、插叙还是补叙,都要让读者能弄清事情的来龙去脉。顺叙最容易操作,较容易给读者提供有关事情的空间和时间线索。但这种方法也容易使文章显得平铺直叙,读起来平淡乏味。倒叙、插叙、补叙等叙述方法能有效地提高文章的结构效果,让所叙之事跌宕起伏,使读者在阅读时思维产生较大的跳跃,从而为文章所吸引,深入其中。但这些方法如果使用不当,则容易弄巧成拙,使文章结构散乱,头绪不清,让读者不知所云。
4。 叙述的过渡
过渡在上下文中起着承上启下、融会贯通的作用。过渡往往用在地点转移或时间、事件转换以及由概括说明到具体叙述时。如:
In my summer holidays, I did a lot of things。 Apart form doing my homework, reading an English novel, watching TV and doing some housework, I went on a trip to Qingdao。 It is really a beautiful city。 There are many places of interest to see。 But what impressed me most was the sunrise。
The next morning I got up early。 I was very happy because it was a fine day。 By the time I got to the beach, the clouds on the horizon were turning red。 In a little while, a small part of the sun was gradually appearing。 The sun was very red, not shining。 It rose slowly。 At last it broke through the red clouds and jumped above the sea, just like a deep-red ball。 At the same time the clouds and the sea water became red and bright。
What a moving and unforgettable scene!
5。 叙述与对话
引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是记叙文提高表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述,可以客观生动地反映人物的性格、品质和心理状态,使记叙生动、有趣,使文章内容更加充实、具体。试比较下面两段的叙述效果:
I was in the kitchen, and I was cooking something。 Suddenly I heard a loud noise from the front。 I thought maybe someone was knocking the door。 I asked who it was but I heard no reply。 After a while I saw my cat running across the parlor。 I realized it was the cat。 I felt released。
这本来应是一段故事性很强的文字,但经作者这么一写,就不那么吸引人了。原因是文中用的都是叙述模式,没有人物语言,把“悬念”给冲淡了。可作如下调整:
I was in the kitchen cooking something。 "Crash!" a loud noise came from the front。 Thinking someone was knocking at the door, I asked, "Who?" No reply。 After a while, I saw my cat running across the parlor。 "It's you。" I said, quite released。
“马上就要期中考试了!”这一天一睁眼这几个字就不断地在我的脑际闪现,随之手心总是会渗出汗来。今年学校采取了新的措施,老师还说要把成绩单发给家长签字。
一天早,我急忙赶着去学校,想抓紧一点时间……
刚出家门没有多久,后车轮便上下颠起来,原来是车胎没气了,“真倒霉”,好不容易的宝贵时间又牺牲掉了。我又焦急又无奈,只好推着倒霉的车走着。
“喂,同学!”我一抬头,只见天天在路边摆摊的修车人在向我喊着,“是不是车坏了?”我刚说“对”,可摸摸空空如也的衣兜立刻摇了摇头,心想这个人真会揽生意。我又推起车,可这人像看穿我的心思一样,竟笑呵呵地走了过来,我站住了脚,慌张地看着他。看上去他60多岁了,可是在他脸上我没有发现生意人的油滑。“你们马上要期中考试了,你们也不容易,今天我就免费修一次!”还来不及惊讶,车已被老爷爷搬到车摊边,他怎么知道我要期中考试呢?
我走过去刚要问个明白,老爷爷便开口说:“别奇怪,你们天天从这儿路过,我对你们很熟,以前你们上学总是悠哉悠哉,可最近几天个个都充满了紧张的情绪。前一天有人修车,一问才知道你们马上要考试了。”他一边说一边把车放倒,麻利地将后轮内胎挑出。听了他的话,我马上对他有了好感。他继续说,“我的孙子去年在你们学校毕业,考进了一中。”“真的吗?他考试会紧张吗?”我顿时感觉与老爷爷的距离拉近了许多。“当然紧张,你们要期中考试了,你也很紧张吧!不过要考好,一是要掌握好知识,二就是要冷静,这样才能保证思路清晰。”听了老爷爷的话,增加了一份信心。“好了,车气给你打好了。”我一看表,才用了7分钟。我心想,这位老爷爷不仅是位修车好手,还是位“心理学家”呢!
来到教室,静下心来,想到老爷爷的话,想到社会上还有许多人关心、照顾着我们,现在让我们好好复习,迎接考试吧!
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
有那么一棵树,他自强不息;有那么一棵树,他坚忍不拔;有那么一棵树,他敬爱无声……
当阳光映绿新叶
一袭灰色的工作服,一顶迷彩帽,一双粗糙如树皮的大手,一辆掉漆了的三轮车,构成了一个平凡而朴实的他。
他是一个收垃圾的工人。
小区的人们见到他都会躲得远远的。每天放学,我都能在小区看见他的身影,他骑着那辆垃圾车穿梭在各个垃圾桶之间,夕阳的光晕投在他额前的汗水上,闪耀着自强不息的汗水,令我心生敬意。
当阳光映绿枝叶,那棵树自强不息。
当狂风摧残枝干
乌云把天空压得阴沉沉的,我正走在回家的路上,突然,一阵刺耳的谩骂声传进了我的耳朵。走进一瞧,一个女人正似圆规一般杵在那辆垃圾车前,一手掐腰,另一只手指着他的鼻子破口大骂。他把头埋得很深,脏兮兮的迷彩帽严严实实地遮住了他的脸,他的双手不安地来回搓着,似乎不知道该怎么办才好。从旁观人的嘴里我了解到,原来是他在往垃圾车里铲垃圾时,不慎将泥点溅到了那女人的裙子上,而我的目光扫遍了那件花花绿绿的裙子,也始终没有找到泥点在哪里。那女人声称要到物业去告他,并扬言要让他滚出小区。我心里一沉。
回去的路上,我的心里有种说不出的压抑,如同一块千斤重的巨石压在胸口一般沉闷。只是无心之失,却要如此斤斤计较,不给人留任何余地吗?我想起《平凡的世界》中有这么一句话:“生活中真正的勇士向来默默无闻,喧哗不止的永远是自视高贵的一群。”
当狂风摧折枝干,那棵树坚忍不拔。
当细雨滋润树根
从那之后,他只在晚上出来收垃圾。一天晚饭过后,我在小区散步。忽然,一辆掉了漆的垃圾车进入了我的视线。是他!我的心情竟明快起来。他正蹲在地上,将几个剩馒头掰成小块分给几只流浪猫。路灯将他的影子拖得很长,一个高大的灰色形象赫然呈现在我的眼前。那分明是一棵树啊!一颗饱经风霜却依然挺拔的树!他眉眼沟壑间的笑,深深地感染着我……
当细雨滋润树根,那棵树敬爱无声。
有那么一棵树,他选择了默默无闻,坚忍不拔,自强不息;有那么一棵树,他用沧桑刻画着生命的年轮;有那么一棵树,他用自己的光芒扎根在了我心底!
【点评】小标题式总是很吸引人,这三个小标题都是围绕树,而且含义隽永。一篇文章首先让阅卷老师刮目相看的是结构形式,然后是具体的内容。
本文的又一大亮点是选材。作者把目光聚焦在运垃圾的人身上,通过细致的描写突出了“默默无闻、坚韧不拔、自强不息”的中心,传递了正能量,对于初中生的作文来说,主题得到了升华。
语言优美,句式整齐,有节奏感,言简意赅,这是第三个亮点。
早晨,走进教室,习惯性地抬头看了看墙壁上挂着:“用九个月的努力捍了三年的尊严。”
唉,离期中考试只剩13天了,快哉快哉,我心里琢磨着。刚坐下,板凳还没坐热,前排同学就转身对我说:“你知道今天是什么日子吗?”我想了半天,打趣地说:“六一儿童节!”同桌差点晕过去。他扶着头一脸无奈地说:“今天是倒霉日,离期中考试还有13天,谐音‘哆咪’,也就相当于‘倒霉’啦!”
“哟,思维这么敏捷,做几何题时,没见你这么厉害过。”我不屑地说了句,继续看书。教室里很静,只剩下写字声。
他仍在嘀咕着什么。他又突然问道:“你如果没考好怎么办?”这次老邬可要发成绩单给家长呀!学校还要开家长会,唉!日子怎么这么快,这么快就初三,这么快就期中考试,这学期已过半,中考越来越近……”我没听到后面他说什么,身后“唰”的一下,好紧张。仔细琢磨,我好怕,但还是打肿脸充胖子,说:“一定会考好的。”觉得不对,又补一句“你也是。”
同桌故做轻松,朗诵道:“考不好不要紧,只要成绩真,非我没考好,还有很多人!”我听了忍不住笑了起来,他又带有阿Q精神似的说:“天将降大任于是人也……”看着周围的同学,仍旧低头,书写着什么,他没趣地停住了话。我此时的心情被他的话搅得乱糟糟的,考不好,家长会怎么面对,怎对得起父母、老师……正想着心事,英语老师进来说:“马上要期中考试,我们要加快进度上课,可能有些快,希望同学们认真听讲,课余时间多记单词,努力再努力,期中考试考出好成现,你好,我好,家长也好,皆大欢喜。”同学们雀跃起来。
对呀!与其杞人忧天,还不如行动起来!
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