从前,有个人自称“专治驼背”,他的招牌上写着:
"I specialize in curing hunchbacks. No matter whether you are hunchbacked like a bow, a shrimp, a basket for rinsing rice or a rice pot, I guarantee that once I start treatment, your hunchback will be cured."
“本人专治驼背,无论你驼得像弓,像虾,像淘箩,像饭锅,凡是经我医治,保证手到病除。”
One hunchback saw the signboard, believed it to be true, and asked for treatment.
有一个驼背,看到招牌,果然信以为真,就请他医治。
The doctor neither gave any prescription, nor let the patient take any medicine. All the medical instrument he had was two boards for pressing. One board was put on the ground, on which the hunchback was told to lie on his stomach. Another board was pressed on and tied tightly with the hunchback. Then the doctor jumped onto the board and trampled upon it at random with all his might. As a result, the hunchback was straightened, but, alas, he was "dead and gone" also.
他既不开药方,也不让吃药。他所有的医疗器具,就只是两块夹板。他把一块板放在地上,叫驼背趴在上面,用另一块压在驼背的身上,然后用绳索绷紧。接着,他便自己跳到板上,拼命用脚乱踩一番。结果,那个人的驼背算是给压直了,可是他的性命也就“呜呼哀哉”了。
When the hunchback's son learned of this, of course he had it out with the doctor. But the doctor said:
驼背的`儿子知道了,自然要与那个医生评理,那医生却说:
"My job is to straighten his back. It's none of my business whether he is dead or alive."
“我只管把他的驼背弄直,哪能管他的活!”
导语:这是一则搞笑的寓言小故事,爸爸向儿子解释醉酒是什么而闹出的小笑话。快来围观吧。
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
During those days, I enjoyed myself. At first, I went to the zoo to see lovely animals. And then, I went to the sea world to see beautiful fishes. That was very interesting.那些天里,我玩的很开心。首先,我去动物园看可爱的动物。之后我去了海洋世界看了美丽的鱼。非常有趣。
Morever, I went for a trip with my parents. We went to visit my grandparents. We rode horses on the grassland. It was very exciting.另外,我跟爸爸妈妈去旅行了。我们去了爷爷奶奶家。我们在草地上骑马。非常刺激。
Besides, I held a party and invited some of my best friends to visit my house. My mother bought a lot of tasty foods for us. We also took many photos on the party. We played very happily.还有哦,我办了一个小聚会,邀请了我的许多好朋友到我家来。我妈妈为我们买了好多可口的食物。我们在聚会上照了好多照片。我们玩的很开心。
I also watched lots of carton films at home. They were wonderful.我还看了许多动画电影。可精彩了。
I like the holiday. I like my May Day.我喜欢假期。我喜欢过五一。
there was once a Prince who wished to marry aPrincess; but then she must be a real Princess. Hetravelled all over the world in hopes of finding such alady; but there was always something wrong.Princesses he found in plenty; but whether theywere real Princesses it was impossible for him todecide, for now one thing, now another, seemedto him not quite right about the ladies. At last hereturned to his palace quite cast down, because hewished so much to have a real Princess for his wife.
One evening a fearful tempest arose, it thundered and lightened, and the rain poureddown from the sky in torrents: besides, it was as dark as pitch. All at once there was heard aviolent knocking at the door, and the old King, the Prince's father, went out himself toopen it.
It was a Princess who was standing outside the door. What with the rain and the wind,she was in a sad condition; the water trickled down from her hair,and her clothes clung to herbody. She said she was a real Princess.
“Ah! we shall soon see that!” thought the old Queen-mother; however, she said not aword of what she was going to do; but went quietly into the bedroom,took all the bed-clothes off the bed, and put three little peas on the bedstead. She then laid twenty mattressesone upon another over the three peas, and put twenty feather beds over the mattresses.
Upon this bed the Princess was to pass the night.
the next morning she was asked how she had slept. “Oh, very badly indeed!” she replied. “I have scarcely closed my eyes the whole night through. I do not know what was in my bed,but I had something hard under me, and am all over black and blue. It has hurt me so much!”
Now it was plain that the lady must be a real Princess, since she had been able to feel thethree little peas through the twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. None but a realPrincess could have had such a delicate sense of feeling.
the Prince accordingly made her his wife; being now convinced that he had found a realPrincess. The three peas were however put into the cabinet of curiosities, where they are stillto be seen, provided they are not lost.
Wasn't this a lady of real delicacy?
豌豆公主
从前有一位王子,他想找一位公主结婚,但她必须是一位真正的公主。
他走遍了全世界,想要寻到这样的一位公主。可是无论他到什么地方,他总是碰到一些障碍。公主倒有的是,不过他没有办法断定她们究竟是不是真正的公主。她们总是有些地方不大对头。
结果,他只好回家来,心中很不快活,因为他是那么渴望着得到一位真正的.公主。
有一天晚上,忽然起了一阵可怕的暴风雨。天空在掣电,在打雷,在下着大雨。这真有点使人害怕!
这时,有人在敲门,老国王就走过去开门。
站在城外的是一位公主。可是,天哪!经过了风吹雨打之后,她的样子是多么难看啊!水沿着她的头发和衣服向下面流,流进鞋尖,又从脚跟流出来。
她说她是一个真正的公主。
“是的,这点我们马上就可以考查出来。”老皇后心里想,可是她什么也没说。她走进卧房,把所有的被褥都搬开,在床榻上放了一粒豌豆。于是她取出二十床垫子,把它们压在豌豆上。随后,她又在这些垫子上放了二十床鸭绒被。
这位公主夜里就睡在这些东西上面。
早晨大家问她昨晚睡得怎样。
“啊,不舒服极了!”公主说,“我差不多整夜没合上眼!天晓得我床上有件什么东西?我睡到一块很硬的东西上面,弄得我全身发青发紫,这真怕人!”
现在大家就看出来了。她是一位真正的公主,因为压在这二十床垫子和二十床鸭绒被下面的一粒豌豆,她居然还能感觉得出来。除了真正的公主以外,任何人都不会有这么嫩的皮肤的。
因此那位王子就选她为妻子了,因为现在他知道他得到了一位真正的公主。这粒豌豆因此也就被送进了博物馆,如果没有人把它拿走的话,人们现在还可以在那儿看到它呢。
请注意,这是一个真的故事。
从前,鲁国有这么一对夫妇:丈夫是一个鞋匠,鞋子做得很好;妻子是一个织绢能手。一天,这两口子商量决定,去越国谋生。
When this news spread around, one man tried to dissuade them:
这消息一传开,就有一个人去劝他们说:
"You had better not go. If you go to the State of Yue to make a living, that would be too bad. Over there, you certainly cannot make a living!"
“还是不要去吧。如果你们到越国去谋生,那可糟了。在那里,你们一定会无法生活下去的!”
The couple asked in surprise:
他俩奇怪地问:
"We don't understand what you mean. Each of us has superb craftsmanship. How is it possible that we couldn't make a living? Don't talk nonsense!"
“我们不懂你说的`意思!我们各人有一门手艺,怎么会生活不了呢?别胡说了!”
Thereupon, the man said to them:
于是,那人对他俩说:
"Right. You indeed have superb craftsmanship. But you probably don't know the situation. You make shoes for people to wear, but the people in the State of Yue like to go barefooted and do not wear shoes; you weave silk to make hats, but the people there like to have their hair hanging down and do not wear hats. Then, how can you sell the shoes and hats you make? Though you are highly skilled, your manual skills are of no use over there. Then how can you make a living?"
“对呀,你们手艺的确很好。不过你们大概不了解情况吧!你们做了鞋子,原来是给人穿的,可是越国人喜欢赤脚,不穿鞋子;你们织的丝绢,原来是做帽子用的,可是越国人喜欢披着头发,不戴帽子。那么,你们做的鞋子、帽子,怎么卖得出去呢?你们的技艺虽然很高,可是在那里却用不上。到那时候,看你们怎么生活。”
After hearing this, the husband and wife saw the light:
这对夫妻听后,恍然大悟:
"Oh, so our way of thinking is against the current fashion."
“噢,原来我们的想法不合时尚啊!”
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