排除引起苦恼的因素(尽可能设法消除因其负面情绪的因由。有的孩子只要看到戴眼镜的人就会哭,如果我们忽视孩子的这种表现,或者对孩子的哭闹不予理睬,这样做会让孩子误以为你没有明白他发出的情绪密码,这样不仅仅对孩子没有帮忙,反而会让孩子越来越苦恼。在这种状况下,我们能够把孩子抱起来,让孩子背对那个人,也能够请那个人把眼镜摘下来,或者还能够问那个人是否介意让孩子玩一玩他的眼镜,以便消除孩子的负面情绪。
Father had a family of sons who were perpetually quarrelling among themselves. When he failed to heal their disputes by his exhortations, he determined to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion; and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they had done so, he placed the faggot into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They each tried with all their strength, and were not able to do it.
He next unclosed the faggot, and took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into their hands, on which they broke them easily. He then
addressed them in these words: "My sons, if you are of one mind, and unite to assist each other, you will be as this faggot, uninjured by all the attempts of your enemies; but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks."
允许孩子充分、合理地表达所有的情绪密码(尽可能不让孩子的情绪受到压抑。表示开心、好奇的情绪密码,都是正面的情绪密码;表示苦恼、生气、害怕、羞愧、恶心、厌恶,这些都是负面的情绪密码。
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