作为都市情感轻喜剧,《结婚前规则》的主题同其它同类电视剧一样,讲述了青年男女的婚姻坎坷及家长间的纠葛。但和以往的电视剧不同,观看下来,没有因新婚男女的磕磕碰碰而感到老套,也没因丈母娘和婆婆的`喋喋不休而感到厌倦;相反,因故事情节的跌宕起伏引发出接二连三的感情危机,使每期都有意想不到的新看点,时时吊起观众那颗悬挂着的心;而以江楚儿(马苏饰演)和欧少杰(沙溢饰演)的隐婚经历为主线,以欧少杰的两个哥们各自的恋爱追求为衬托,避免了故事的单一乏味,让观众从多个层面和视觉领略不同的感观和笑料。这也许正是《结婚前规则》剧本获得成功的主要原因。
说起电视剧《结婚前规则》中的人物,女主人公江楚儿当属剧中之魂。在许多观众的心中,她似乎是一个心直口快,大大咧咧的女汉子形象。虽然继承了当警察的老爸的刚强统,也会一些用于防身的擒拿武功,但江楚儿本质里心地善良,为人正直。生活中孝敬老人,忠诚丈夫,事业上自强不息,助人为乐。当感情出现危机要和丈夫分手时,她主动提出退换婚后男方以她的名下购买的住房;当听说丈夫生意欠债无法偿还时,她毫不犹豫地决定卖掉自己经营多年的店子;当自己前男友穷困潦倒向她求助找工作时,她不计前嫌给予了应有的帮助。所有这些,都表明江楚儿是一个邻家好女孩,是一个众里难寻的现代好媳妇。而让马苏来扮演这一角色,正是量体裁衣,非她莫属。无论是相貌和气质,马苏活生生的就是一个江楚儿原型。再说男主人公欧少杰,优点是聪明,洒脱,也会疼老婆。但致命的弱点来自于独生子娇惯养成的劣习:如自负,任性,固执;对老人的尊重和对配偶的忠诚,比起江楚儿都明显的逊色。剧中的其他人物,最引人注目的是男配角周凡(李乃文饰演),身为私营公司老板、欧少杰的哥们,在为人处事方面比起男主人公来更受人称道。公开的缺点是吝啬和过于商业化,但在个人情感,兄弟关系处理,公司用人方面却游刃有余,独树一帜,让人刮目相看。 除此,女配角左纯、麦小河、马莉及双方的父母等,都在剧中留下亮点。
一口气看完电视连续剧《结婚前规则》,所有的担忧和欢乐渐渐趋于平静。回想起电视剧展示的现代年轻人结婚前规则到底是什么?无论是隐婚还是闪婚、试婚,是否要遵循社会公认的某些约定。虽然最终电视剧没有给出直接的答案,但从男女主人公的隐婚经历中遇到的矛盾冲突和感情危机到最后消除误解、重归于好,我们还是可以得出一些启发:如责任,坦诚、互信等都是男女双在恋爱期间乃至结婚后应该共同遵循的信条,把它们当做指导两人婚前婚后相处的规则,一个美满幸福的家庭就有了坚固的基础和保证。
它克服了教材普遍通篇大论原理性很强读起来令人乏味的缺点,以通俗易懂的例此文来源于文秘写作网、妙趣横生的语言向我们传达能包罗万象的六条基本的心理学原理:互惠、投入和一致、社会认可、喜好、权威、匮乏。其中令我印象最深刻的是互惠原理。互惠原理认为,我们应该尽量以相同的方式回报他人为我们所做的一切。由于互惠原理的影响力,我们感到自己有义务在将来回报我们收到的恩惠、礼物、邀请等等。因为这一类东西的接受往往与偿还的义务紧紧联系在一起。互惠原理以及与之行影相随的负债感给人印象最深刻的一点就是,它们在人类文明中几乎无处不在。不仅如此,这条原理在每一个社会组织中都运用得非常普遍,以致于几乎每一种形式的交换都渗透了它的影响。一个广为接受而又坚不可摧的面向未来的价值趋向在人类社会的进步中所起的作用是不可低估的,因为这意味着人们在与别人分享某些东西的时候,可以确信这一切都不会被遗忘。人类在进化的过程中终于达到了这样一种文明程度:当一个人将财物等资源分给他人时,其实并没有真正地将这些东西失去。这种现象的结果就是,那些以一方向另一方提供资源为开端的交易边的容易起来,错综复杂而又井然游有序的援助、送礼、防御和贸易体系也成为可能,给社会带来了极大的利益。既然互惠原理对人类文明的积极意义是这么显著,它在我们社会化的过程中变成一种深深植根与我们心目中的价值观也就不是什么奇怪的事情了。
互惠原理常常会把偿还的义务强加到我们头上,但我们从互惠原理中得利的时候还是占多数的。正因为如此,笃信并且服从这个原理也就成了我们生活中的一项十分重要的行为规范。我们每一个人都知道遵守这个原理合乎社会给我们定立的.行为规范,而违背了它却会遭到无情的唾弃和嘲弄,甚至会被戴上像乞讨赖帐、忘恩负义之类的帽此文来源于文秘写作网。因为对那些只知索取不知偿还的人有一种普遍的厌恶感,我们往往都会极力避免与他们为伍。虽然在特殊情况下,比如说由于条件或能力不允许而不能回报人家的恩惠,也不是完全不可能得到大家的谅解,但一般说来,整个社会对不遵守互惠原理的人的确有一种发自内心的厌恶。为了避免被贴上像乞讨赖帐、忘恩负义这一类的标签,即使是不公平的交换我们有时候也是愿意接受的。因此,一方面是发自内心的强烈不安,一方面是来自外部的巨大羞辱,两者结合在一起,便造成了一付十分沉重的心理负担。了解了这一点,对于人们在互惠的名义下会心甘情愿地付出比自己得到的多得多的东西就不会感到太难以理解了。而且,即使人们的确有某种需要,如果感到自己难以回报,往往也会尽量避免向他人寻求帮助。这并不奇怪,以为尽管物质上的损失是人们不想看到的,但与心理上的重负一比也就不算什么了。而恰恰是这种状态给一些想要利用互惠原理获利的人提供了机会。
互惠原理之所以可以成为如此有效的说服他人的工具,一个重要的原因就在于它所蕴藏的极大力量。在它的影响下,人们很轻易地就会答应一个在没有负债心理时一定会拒绝的请求。即使是一些平时颇具影响力的因素,与它一比也会相形见绌。
一个老师想测验一下学生们对过去时、现在时和将来时的掌握程度。有一个问题是‘我给予’的将来时是什么?结果有一个学生信心十足地答道,‘我索取’。虽然他可能犯了一个语法错误,但他对一条更博大的社会原理却掌握得完全正确。
著名法国人类学家马塞尔.毛斯在描述人类文明中的送礼过程以及与此有关的社会压力时说古这样的话:给予是一种义务,接受是一种义务,偿还也是一种义务。尽管回报的责任感是互惠原理的核心所在,但互惠原理之所以那么容易被人利用,却还是由于上面提到的接受的义务。我们接受恩惠的义务感削弱了自己的选择能力,把决定我们会对谁负债的控制权交到了他人的手中。
相互退让是利用互惠原理来使他人答应自己的请求的另一种方式。与给人一点好处然后要求他们回报的直截了当的方式相比,这种方式比较微妙,但有时候却更加致命和有效。妥协也可以是一个互惠的过程,因此人们可以先主动做出一个让步,以迫使对方也做出让步,从而达到自己的目的。这个简单的技巧可以称为“拒绝—退让”策略。
这个原理也使我想起一个日本富翁的发家致富经历:他是一个从事批发麻绳的商人,刚开始他把从厂家拿的货物原价卖给顾客,因为他的绳此文来源于文秘写作网如此便宜,人们都乐意到他那购买,成了他的忠实客户;在他生意不断壮大后,他一方面向厂家诉说自己辛苦却没酬劳要求降低出厂价,另一方面向顾客诉说自己一直原价卖东西没赚干不下去了,结果,厂商不愿失去重要客户而把每条绳此文来源于文秘写作网降低了一毛钱卖给他,顾客想以后继续有便宜的货源也每条绳此文来源于文秘写作网给多了一毛钱向他购买,就这样有了两毛钱的中间差,且每年他的绳此文来源于文秘写作网销量都是成百上千万的,很快他就成了富翁。这就是先自己吃亏让别人受惠再自己受益的典型。随着我们加入WTO,与外国厂商的合作会越来越多,共赢是主题,也是取得发展的核心问题,与互惠原理有异曲同工之妙。如果一个人只想着自己的利益,那么他也许确实可以得到短期的利益,但他会从此失去合作伙伴,没有社会分工、什么事都要自己去干,纵使有三头六臂也忙不过来的。惟有互惠联合在一块才有更强的竞争力。
时下扩招后的毕业生竞争激烈,好工作难找,大多数人都想找个既轻松又高工资的职位,这种眼光比较短浅,找工作不能只看薪水,更要看公司的发展前景。也许现在公司很小,但成长速度很快,那么即使目前没钱赚要给它免费打工也是值得的,撑过了艰苦的起步阶段接下来就是享受回报的喜悦了,与人共苦才能同甘,也许付出了不一定有回报,但不付出就一定没回报;而目前工资甚高的公司也许是处于夕阳行业,以后的日此文来源于文秘写作网是江河日下。具体的选择就要看各人的价值观取向了。
心理学是博大精深的,同时它不是工具性的东西,见效的时间没那么快,需要人慢慢地揣摩领会,在运用中得到深切,一旦熟能生巧时你就可信手拈来运用自由,那时的感觉是很美妙的。这是一本很值得一读的书,看多几遍把它融会贯通你就可感受其中真义的神奇。
本人谨以赤诚之心,在此立此宣言:结婚之后,工资奖金全交,剩菜剩饭全包,家务杂活全干,一切以太太的话为最高宗旨,遵循2条原则:
第一条:老婆永远是对的;
第二条:如果老婆错了,请参照第一条。
在思想上,坚持拥护老婆的绝对领导,坚定不移的走老婆指定的路线,家里老婆是第一位,我是第四位。在举止上,爱护老婆,保证老婆开心时要陪她开心,不开心时要哄她开心;做文明丈夫,做到“打不还手,骂不还口,打了左手送右手”。在生活上,解读婚姻法结婚须知结婚登记收养抚养财产继承离婚财产分割陪老婆逛街时不喊累,而且要主动用平时省下来的零用钱付帐;锻炼身体,天天向上;严格遵守作息时间,早上按时起床,晚上按时睡觉。节假日认真组织学习厨艺及推拿技术。虚心接受老婆监督,尤其不能跟陌生女人搭话,当然,问路的老太太和五岁以下的小朋友除外。
此结婚保证书自年月日生效,请老婆大人保存。
Many people simply regard Pride and Prejudice as a love story, but in my opinion, this book is an illustration of the society at that time. She perfectly reflected the relation between money and marriage at her time and gave the people in her works vivid characters. The characters have their own personalities. Mrs. Bennet is a woman who makes great efforts to marry off her daughters. Mr. Bingley is a friendly young man, but his friend, Mr. Darcy, is a very proud man who seems to always feel superior. Even the five daughters in Bennet family are very different. Jane is simple, innocent and never speaks evil of others. Elizabeth is a clever girl who always has her own opinion. Mary likes reading classic books. (Actually she is a pedant. Kitty doesn’t have her own opinion but likes to follow her sister, Lydia. Lydia is a girl who follows exotic things, handsome man, and is somehow a little profligate. When I read the book, I can always find the same personalities in the society now. That is why I think this book is indeed the representative of the society in Britain in the 18th century.
The family of gentleman in the countryside is Jane Austen’s favourite topic. But this little topic can reflect big problems. It concludes the stratum situation and economic relationships in Britain in her century. You can find these from the very beginning of this book.
The first sentence in this book is impressive. It reads: “It is a truth well known to all the world that an unmarried man in poss ession of a large fortune must be in need of a wife”. The undertone is very clear: the foundation of the marriage at that time is not emotion but possession.
People always think that Austen was an expert at telling love stories. In fact, the marriage in her book is not the result of love, but the result of economic needs. After reading this book, I know the truth is that a poor woman must be in need of a husband, a wealthy man.
I couldn’t forget how eager Mrs. Bennet wants to marry off her daughte rs. If you want to know why she is so crazy about these things, I must mention the situation in Britain at that time. Only the eldest son had the privilege of inheriting his father’s possessions. Younger sons and daughters who are used to luxurious lives have no choice but marry a man or woman in possession of a large fortune to continue their comfortable lives. Thus, we can see that getting married is a way to become wealthier, particularly for women without many possessions. Jane Austen told us that money and possession determined everything, including marriage and love in her century.
In “Pride and Prejudice”, the sister of Mr. Bingley strongly opposed his plan of marrying Jane because the Bennets don’t have many possessions and their social positions are much lower than them. From this, we can see there are a lot of obstacles for a not very rich woman to marry a wealthy husband. The society, the relatives would not allow them to get married.
In modern society, although the marriages of economic needs have decreased rapidly, the concept of “money determines everything” is still rooted in some people’s mind. A lot of parents try hard to interfere their children’s marriages. Education background, possessions, jobs remains the main reason that may influence one’s marriage. Marry for money is still a big problem in our
society. We can’t help thinking: can money determine everything?
Austen left this problem for us to think. The genius of Jane Austen lies in this perfect simplicity, the simplicity that reflects big problems. Although Austen was only 21 when she wrote “Pride and Prejudice”, her sharp observation of social lives makes the style of this book surprisingly mature and lively. The plots in her works are always very natural. The development of the plot is as inevitable as a problem in mathematics. I think the depth of Pride and Prejudice is the reason that makes this book prominent and classic. Today, her book still can be the guide telling us the economic relationships both at her time and in modern time.
I read the Chinese version of “Camille” a few years ago. At that time I was deeply moved by the main character Marguerite Gautier. “Camille” or “The Lady of the Camellias” by Alexandre Dumas, fils, is the story of Marguerite Gautier, a young courtesan, or kept woman, in Paris in the mid 1800's, and how she falls in love with a young man, Armand Duval, and then tries to escape from her questionable past. Unfortunately, it comes back to haunt her and she ends up returning to that life and dies painfully and alone, but with the knowledge that she was a noble woman at heart. When I first began to read the book, I did not care for Marguerite or her attitude or lifestyle, but as I got further into the narrative, I realized that her saucy attitude was a front to cover the lonely woman that she really was. She felt used, abused and unloved, until the gentle Armand Duval came into her life and showed her that he loved her as a person and not for what she could do for him. It must have taken great courage for Marguerite to leave the life she had lived for so long, knowing all along that it was probably too good to be true and would not last indefinitely. And it also showed that Marguerite really loved Armand Duval for she could even change herself for him.
However, happiness didn’t last for long. When M. Duval, Armand's father, came to her, pleading for her to leave Armand to save both Armand's reputation and that of his younger innocent sister, Marguerite saw a way to become pure of heart, if not in body. She felt that it was her duty, because she loved Armand so much, to do this even though it meant giving up her own happiness and hurting Armand temporarily. She reluctantly returned to her former life, knowing that.some day Armand would forgive her. Sadly, she died in debt and basically alone, except for her one female friend, Julie Duprat, who helped her during her illness. She had her journal sent to Armand after her death, explaining why she had made the choices she had. I think Dumas's last few lines about Marguerite being the exception, not the rule were quite true, and I also agreed with his view that while her lifestyle could not be condoned, we as a society assume that all of these type of women are cold and heartless, while this may not always be the case. A person can make the wrong choices in life when they are young, and try to redeem themselves, but sometimes past situations prevent them from changing their lives, even though they desperately wish to do so. This applies to both men and women in many different types of circumstances: involvement in crime; drug or alcohol abuse; gambling; prostitution; financial problems; poor marriage choices; etc. And this is the fact, which exists in the whole society.
As far as the other characters in the book, I think Marguerite was right in saying that no one truly cared about her, but only wanted something from her, the only exceptions being Armand and Julie Duprat. Of course, the Comte de G. and Comte de N. wanted her body and appearance. The
Duke needed to “wake up and smell the coffee” and realize that she could never replace his dead daughter. If he truly cared, he could have helped her leave her lifestyle without “keeping” her himself. And lastly, Prudence was a blood-sucking leech who used Marguerite almost worse than the men. I also think she was jealous of the fact that Marguerite had so much more courage than herself and someone truly loved her.
Last morning, when tiding my bookshelf, I took this book out of the shelf, and a dried flower flew away from the book. It was pale blue, very transparent, with thin fine veins. a dried flower flew away from the book. It was pale blue, very transparent, with thin fine veins. I held it against the morning light and blew on it. The soft breeze carried it away. Camille is just like the camellia, she could never escape from the destiny of withering. But it wasn’t her fault; it’s because of the evil of Capitalism and the hideousness of that society.
Suddenly, I remembered a saying: “Women are like the flowers”. Those pretty women are like those beautiful flowers; their delicate beauty makes people feel they are the miracle of life. However, even the God envies their beauty. It seems that beautiful women always have tragic endings. As we are normal persons, even we can see the hideousness of humanity that results in their fate of withering, we can at most ask quietly in our hearts: Where have those beautiful flowers gone? Where have they gone?
The Life And Adventures Of Robinson Crusoe
It seemed to be such a coincidence that the night after I finished reading The Life And Adventures Of Robinson Crusoe, I was to dine in a restaurant distinctly related to the book itself. This restaurant was no other than the famous American-styled “Friday ’s. ” The reason for mentioning this restaurant is quite straightforward to all the gentlemen, ladies and children who have read the novel and enjoyed it, which is the fact that this restaurant was, most likely, named after the American Native in Robinson Crusoe, called Friday. This restaurant offers very exceptional service, for instance when the waitresses are asked to order dishes they kneel rather than stand, which, unlike the other restaurants I have been to, makes it easier for the customers to hear them speak. Moreover, Friday’s friendly services to the customers help them to make better choices when ordering dishes. I remembered when I went to Friday ’s last time; the waitress kindly described the items on the menu with precise details. It turned out that the combo I initially wanted was designed to be shared among a large group, not to be eaten by one person. I think this restaurant shows many commendable features similar to that of Friday. Friday brought emotional warmth to the people around him with his appealing personality. I think it was this personality that affected Crusoe and made him say that he loved Friday when Crusoe didn ’t express love for his parents, brothers, sisters, or even his wife. “When he espied me, he came running to me, laying himself down again upon the ground, with all the possible signs of an humble, thankful disposition, making many antic gestures to show it to let me know how he would serve me as long as he lived.” This was what Friday did after Crusoe had rescued him from the two savages chasing him. It was easy for me to see why Crusoe had loved Friday. After sometime, Crusoe and Friday were to rescue Friday’s father. When Friday reunited with his father, the scene was easy to move anyone: “It would have moved anyone to tears to have seen how Friday kissed him, embraced him, hugged him, cried, laughed, halloed, jumped about, danced,
sung; and then sung and jumped about again, like a distracted creature. It was a good while before I could make him speak to me.” This is my favourite chapter in the whole book. It is hard to see why Friday is an ex-savage when he can have personalities more praiseworthy than many civilized people, viz. Crusoe himself. “When he (Friday went to him (Friday’s father, he would sit down by him, open his breast, and hold his father’s head close to his bosom, half an hour together, to nourish it; then he took his arms and ankles, which were numbed and stiff with the binding, and rubbed them with his hands.” Furthermore, Friday’s expression of loyalty in asking Crusoe to kill him rather than leave him is more heartfelt than anything Crusoe ever says or does.
Crusoe, on the absolute contrary, seems incapable of deep feelings, as shown by his account of leaving his family—he never shows any emotions. After a moving lecture from Robinson’s father about his future, he still decided to follow his own wandering ambition. Careless was he about the wishes of his parents to keep him alive and prosperous, as he was the only child left in the family. When he came back from the island which he had lived on for twenty eight years, he found that it had been too late to tell his parents that he was still alive, but yet again he did not feel sorry for them; he also did not feel sorry for the two people who had to live in misery for nearly thirty years under the allusion all of their sons were dead. He had the same feelings for his wife: when he was married, he said it was “not either to my disadvantage or dissatisfaction”, implying that it was also neither to his advantage nor his satisfaction. Moreover, after his wife died, Robinson did not think of looking after the three children they had, but went back to the island, which he had lived on for twenty-eight years. It was on this trip which Robinson Crusoe revisited “His Island ” as he called it. I feel that Robinson ’s indifference to his family is almost emotionally cruel.
Before had clearly shown the contrast between Crusoe’s and Friday’s personalities, as when Friday, in his joyful reunion with his father, displayed far more emotion toward his family members than Crusoe, whereas Crusoe never mentions missing his family or dreams about the happiness of seeing them again. I think Defore is very successful in introducing Friday as part of the novel, it makes the whole novel seem much more complete and gripping to the reader, as well as proving that Defoe’s ideology of racism is civilized unlike many other Europeans at that time; natives and savages are not worse than others but can perhaps even be more modern and civilized. Those are the reasons of why I like The Life And Adventures Of Robinson Crusoe and Friday.
本人谨以赤诚之心,在此立此宣言:结婚之后,工资奖金全交,剩菜剩饭全包,家务杂活全干,一切以太太的话为最高宗旨,遵循2条原则:第一条,老婆永远是对的;第二条,如果老婆错了,请参照第一条。
具体实施细则如下:
01.老婆用餐时要随侍一旁,舀汤盛饭;不得有先行用饭之行为。
02.老婆化妆时要快乐等候,衷心赞美;不得有不耐等候之行为。
03.老婆穿衣时要帮忙烫衣,提供建议;不得有冷嘲热讽之行为。
04.老婆洗澡时要量好水温,抓痒擦背;不得有贪图私欲之行为。
05.老婆上班时要宾士接送,保镖护卫;不得有放心社会之行为。
06.老婆危险时要奋不顾身,慷慨牺牲;不得有贪生怕之行为。
07.老婆很累时要笑脸相迎,按摩捶背;不得有沙文主义之行为。
08.老婆拼时要勇于付款,多多鼓励;不得有不情不愿之行为。
09.老婆上菜时要赞不绝口,多吃几碗;不得有偏食挑菜之行为。
10.老婆睡觉时要炎夏扇风,寒冬暖被;不得有打呼抢被之行为。
11.老婆生病时要亲侍汤药,废寝忘食;不得有漠不关心之行为。
12.老婆给钱时要含泪感激,省吃俭用;不得有奢侈浪费之行为。
13.老婆节日时要亲自送花,夜备盛宴;不得有随便敷衍之行为。
14.老婆逛街时要不辞辛劳,提携重物;不得有偷懒怕重之行为。
15.老婆无聊时要搏命演出,彩衣娱亲;不得有毫无所谓之行为。
16.老婆烦恼时要温柔安抚,分忧解劳;不得有火上加油之行为。
17.老婆训诫时要两手贴紧,立正站好;不得有心不在焉之行为。
18.老婆说话时要凝神静听,勤作笔记;不得有听过就忘之行为。
19.老婆犯错时要引咎自责,自揽黑锅;不得有连累老婆之行为。
20.老婆外出时要紧守身旁,细心照料;不得有放其孤单之行为。
21.老婆起床时要殷勤问安,备妥早餐;不得有睡过了头之行为。
22.老婆哀伤时要锥心泣,悲痛欲绝;不得有面露微笑之行为。
23.老婆晚归时要耐心等候,欢颜以对;不得有大发雷霆之行为。
24.老婆不在时要朝思暮想,守身如玉;不得有偷鸡摸狗之行为。
25.老婆高兴时要张灯结彩,大肆庆祝;不得有泼洒冷水
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