【习作题目】
Students Grading of Their Teachers
1.学生给老师打分已很普遍;
2.人们对其持不同态度(肯定或否定的态度);
3.你的看法。
【习作解读】
显然,此任务是写一篇议论文,主题为对学生给老师打分的现象进行议论,开放性较大。学生应根据实际情况,从多个方面阐述其原因并表达自己对这种现象的观点和态度。该话题更加贴近学生的实际生活,但有一定的语言难度,也有一定的思想深度。通过此文的写作,也从侧面提示了学生在注重写作基础训练的前提下,也应该注重培养积极思考、灵活运用、自由发挥等能力。
此次的写作任务出题相当巧妙,写作内容涉及的词汇和句型都属于新课程标准范围。题目在考查学生写作能力的同时,也在考查学生的分析判断能力及高度概括能力。富有想象力的学生写出的文章可能生动而富有灵性。此题目能引发学生对平日习以为常的行为进行反思,学会换位思考,这对中学生的性格和品德培养非常重要。
【习作展示】
Students Grading of Their Teachers
Nowadays, a lot of schools ask their students to contribute to grading their teachers. As a teacher, it is their responsibility to satisfy their students in all aspects. Meanwhile, it is admirable that school teachers prefer to expose themselves to their students.
If the system of grading of teachers by students is introduced, it will benefit students, teachers and the administration of the school for a number of reasons. For one thing, the system will give teachers and the administration of the school an insight into the minds of the students and show whether the teachers are successful in getting their lessons understood by the students; for another, it will also encourage the good teachers to continue their efforts and motivate themselves. What is more, it will expose those who are not doing enough and will lead them to correct their teaching methods as well as their attitude towards students. Thus the quality of teaching will certainly improve.
In a word, it is a promising concept and will bring surprisingly good results if applied with the right conditions.
【习作点评】
作者观点明确,赞成学生给老师打分。作为老师,就要做一个让学生满意的老师。这样,不仅对学生、学校有利,而且对老师本人也有利。这样,老师就会从另一个角度重新审视自己,看自己是否是一个成功的老师。如果得到学生的认可,这将是对自己的一次鼓励,为继续前行增添动力。如果学生的认可度不高,老师就应进行反思,调控教学方法和教学态度。这样,教学质量肯定会提高。作
者用简洁、明快的语言以及自己的经历列举了充分的论据,内容充实,贴近生活。For one thing, for another, what is more, in a word等过渡词的使用,是短文结构清晰,层次分明。最后,最值得一提的是,文中多次正确运用的高级词汇和复杂句式,给文章增添了不少文采。综上所述,这是一篇不可多得的佳作,值得向大家推荐。
二、写作模板
此模板适用于社会现象类议论文。参考模式如下:
Nowadays, there exists an increasingly serious social/economic/environmental There are a couple of reasons behind this problem/phenomenon. For one ;Based on the above discussions, I can easily forecast that more and more people
Nowadays, there exists a common phenomenon—with the development of the Internet, more and more people tend to send electronic cards instead of paper ones to their friends and relatives when an important holiday comes.
There are a couple of reasons behind this phenomenon. For one thing, compared with the traditional cards, electronic cards are more lively and interesting. They can give not only pictures but also sound and animation. For another, there are many websites online which offer varieties of cards for you to choose from. What is more, with the popularity of the electronic cards, less paper is used in making paper cards, which does good to our environment.
Based on the above discussions, I can easily forecast that sending greetings by using electronic cards will be accepted by more and more people, not only the young ones.
三、写作指导
写作思路是先列出一个具体的社会问题或者现象,然后分析产生的原因和产生的影响,最后提出解决问题的办法,或者得出结论,或者提出个人看法,或者预测前景。
论点、论据、论证是议论文的三要素。论点是作者对所议论问题所持有的见解和主张,论据是用来证明论点的事实和道理的根据;论证是用论据来证明论点的方法和过程。一般来说,议论文每段都有主题句来确定论点。论证的方法很多,但最常用的是因果分析法。即:分析事实与论点的因果关系,指出取得结果的原因是所要证明的论点,从而达到论证的目的。
在近几年的高考中,议论文的比重占得越来越多,议论文的.出题形式可以多种多样,有看图写作、图表、表格、书信等各种类型,但文体实际是议论文,而有时是夹叙的议论文。议论文的写作要点是:
1. 观点鲜明,文章一定有一个明确的中心论点。
2. 层次分明,一个中心论点通常有几个分论点支持,不同层次之间要分明,过渡清晰自然。
3. 最后一段一般要总结全文,得出一个符合逻辑的结论,突出中心思想。
4. 一般采用一般现在时。
5. 语言简洁有力,一般不采用口语。
四、巩固练习
1.【练习题目】
2010年上海世界博览会期间,上万的青年志愿者参加志愿工作,请你谈谈对此现象的看法。
【参考范文】
During the period of holding the 2010 World Expo in Shanghai, tens of thousands of young citizens are participating in volunteer work, hoping to devote themselves to the grand occasion. As far as I am concerned, everyone ought to enter for it. Here are the reasons I want to mention.
It can be argued that the advantages of doing unpaid volunteer work are enormous, because volunteer work is actually a two-way street. First of all, volunteer work should always benefit people who need help. Those who need help will feel happier due to our immediate help. On the other hand, as far as the young people ourselves are concerned, we have more opportunities to develop the sense of responsibility, independence as well as interpersonal skills in the process of helping others.
Through this kind of work, we become confident and mature. In addition, we can make many friends and increase our chances of getting the jobs of our dreams. Furthermore, volunteer work plays an active role in building up a harmonious society.
In a word, it is of great value for the young adults to offer volunteer work. The youth volunteers do make a difference by the voluntary work! Why not join them and do something for our country?
2.【练习题目】
某些中学生为了显示自己成熟或表明自己醋而吸烟。请写一篇120词左右的短文,列举吸烟的危害,并提出建议。
【参考范文】
I am sorry to know that more and more middle school students begin to smoke. I think it is wrong to believe that smoking is cool and even think that smoking makes you appear to be mature. In fact, smoking is not cool but very dangerous.
First, smoking can do much damage to health. Scientific researches show that smoking can lead to heart diseases, cancers and other problems. It is reported that about 5 million people die of diseases related to smoking each year all over the world.
Second, it is a waste of money to smoke cigarettes. Smoking can cost a great deal of money. Once you are addicted to it, it is difficult to give it up.
What’s more, smoking can cause fires easily, which may do great damage to your life and your surroundings.
So give up smoking at once! Only in this way can you keep healthy forever.
3. 【练习题目】近年来,越来越多的中学生出国学习,出现了所谓的中学生“出国热”。请根据以下提供的信息,谈谈自己的看法。
1)良好的语言环境,更利于语言学习。
2)拓宽视野,学习国外先进的科学技术。
3)传播各民族间的不同文化。
参考词汇:媒介,中间人:mediator
【参考范文】
In recent years, studying abroad has been popular. Tens of thousands of Chinese middle school students have gone to foreign countries to study.Many people are trying their best to apply to go abroad.
There are a number of reasons for attending schools abroad.First, students who are studying abroad can act as mediators between people of different cultures. They can communicate with each other directly and learn about different cultures. Second, they can learn much more advanced knowledge of science and technology from foreign countries and experience different education methods.Third, they live in foreign countries and take classes given by foreign teachers. As a result, they can learn foreign languages much more quickly.
Therefore, it is advisable to attend schools abroad.
4.【练习题目】随着经济和社会的发展,道路上的私人小汽车越来越多。请根据自己的观察和理解,谈谈自己的观点。
【参考范文】
With the fantastic development both in economy and in society in China, the number of people who own private cars is on the rise. Some people have bought cars of their own, and others are planning to buy cars. But I strongly object to the increase in developing private cars.
I hold that automobiles will give rise to a series of problems. In the first place, as more and more cars are produced and run on the road, a large volume of poisonous gas will be given off, polluting the atmosphere and causing actual harm to the health of people. Next, private cars contribute to traffic jams so greatly that the advantages gained in comfort and freedom are often cancelled out by the frustration caused by traffic jams. The last problem is the increasing number of car accidents that have killed and will kill a lot of people in a friction of a second.
In a word, although automobiles have been playing a vital part in the daily activities of our society, they also bring us numerous troubles such as more serious environmental pollution, more traffic accidents and more energy consumption. They drink up huge amounts of fuel and throw out huge amounts of pollutants. Jams waste our precious time. Therefore, I am against developing private cars.
还有四十五分钟就要交卷了,我心里默念着,手心里冒出了细微的汗。很快,我的手上都可以滴出水来了,我的心不由自主地加速了跳动的频率
马上就要交卷,我的作文仍一个字没动。都怪我太失算了,前面的基础知识题就花了我90分钟,当我看到手表指针指向10:30时,我大叫不好,差点喊出来让监考老师听到了。到那时,我就不用担心作文写不完了,因为我肯定已经被逐出了考场。
再看看作文题,这位为作文命题的智者,我真该谢谢他(她,这个时候我就是再怎么灵动也想不出怎么写水的灵动啊。换一个吧!乖乖!山的沉稳。我都紧张成这样了,他(她还想让我写沉稳。我的心又是一阵狂跳
五分钟后,我的心出奇的静下来了。紧张,是没有用的,那玩意不能让我写出一篇作文来。我得仔细地构思一下,以山的沉稳的心态。嗯!一个绝妙的念头(至少我认为是绝妙的在我脑海中一纵即逝,我忽然明白了什么叫水的灵动。
嘻嘻!我狡黠地一笑,继续构思起本人的大作来。无意中扭头一看,天哪!就剩四十分钟了,我眼泪都要流出来了,我可是苦读了十一年啊!可不能让一篇作文把我即将到手的正果给毁了。
我继续静下心构思起来
嗯差不多了,还有半个小时,估计够写,美中不足的是,得为我的大作起个名字。一个平凡无比但又非常实际的题目呈现脑中,我一激动就写了上去。
我的心终于完全静了下来。哈哈,看来我也是具有山的沉稳这一个性的嘛!即使偶然会山崩或滑坡,也掩盖不了我沉稳的本色。对了,我肯定还有水的灵动的优点,很明显嘛,只有双剑合璧才能写出如此大作来。
至于最后评卷时,评卷老师喜欢不喜欢,我倒不甚介意,因为究竟我把作文写出来了。这是我的成功,高分谁不想得,但那是要凭实力的。
还有四十五分钟就要交卷了,我心里默念着,手心里冒出了细微的汗。很快,我的手上都可以滴出水来了,我的心不由自主地加速了跳动的频率……
马上就要交卷,我的作文仍一个字没动。都怪我太失算了,前面的基础知识题就花了我90分钟,当我看到手表指针指向10:30时,我大叫不好,差点喊出来让监考老师听到了。到那时,我就不用担心作文写不完了,因为我肯定已经被逐出了考场。
再看看作文题,这位为作文命题的智者,我真该谢谢他(她),这个时候我就是再怎么灵动也想不出怎么写水的灵动啊。换一个吧!乖乖!山的沉稳。我都紧张成这样了,他(她)还想让我写沉稳。我的心又是一阵狂跳……
五分钟后,我的心出奇的静下来了。紧张,是没有用的,那玩意不能让我写出一篇作文来。我得仔细地构思一下,以山的沉稳的心态。嗯!一个绝妙的念头(至少我认为是绝妙的)在我脑海中一纵即逝,我忽然明白了什么叫水的灵动。
嘻嘻!我狡黠地一笑,继续构思起本人的大作来。无意中扭头一看,天哪!就剩四十分钟了,我眼泪都要流出来了,我可是苦读了十一年啊!可不能让一篇作文把我即将到手的正果给毁了。
我继续静下心构思起来……
嗯……差不多了,还有半个小时,估计够写,美中不足的是,得为我的大作起个名字。一个平凡无比但又非常实际的题目呈现脑中,我一激动就写了上去。
我的心终于完全静了下来。哈哈,看来我也是具有山的沉稳这一个性的嘛!即使偶然会山崩或滑坡,也掩盖不了我沉稳的本色。对了,我肯定还有水的灵动的优点,很明显嘛,只有双剑合璧才能写出如此大作来。
至于最后评卷时,评卷老师喜欢不喜欢,我倒不甚介意,因为究竟我把作文写出来了。这是我的成功,高分谁不想得,但那是要凭实力的。
①并列法。即对中心论点进行条分缕析,分解出几个分论点,以显示思维的全面性。如《梅花香自苦寒来》可以分解为这三个分论点:①苦可以激发进取心;②苦可以培养坚强的意志;③苦可以培养创造精神。
②层进法。即对事理作纵深剖析,以显示思维的深刻性。如《在困难面前》可以分解成这样的几个分论点:①要承认困难,因为困难无处不在,无时不有;②要不怕困难,因为困难像弹簧,你强它就弱;③要分析研究困难,千方百计地战胜困难,这三个分论点就呈递进关系。
③对照法。即将事理分解成正反两个方面,以显示思维的鲜明性。如《学贵多问》可以分解成这两个分论点:①多问可以相互参照,便于释疑;②孤陋寡闻导致学业荒废。
段落,又称为自然段,是文章中最基本的意义单位和结构单位。划分段落的基本原则,是要保持内容的单一性和完整性。所谓单一性,是说一个段落中只能表达一个意思或表达一个矛盾,或表达矛盾的一个方面,或表达过程的一个阶段,而不能把两个或两个以上的意思混杂在一个段落中。所谓完整性,是说一个意思一定要在一个段落中讲清楚、讲完全,而不能把一个意思拆开放在几个段落中。
层次,又称为结构段或部分,是由段落组合而成的较大的意义单位和结构单位。安排层次常用的方法有:并列式、递进式、连贯式、总分式。
所谓过渡,就是把文章中意思不同而处于相邻位置的段落或层次粘合在一起,使它们形成一个整体,从而共同为表现主题服务。一般地说,在记叙文写作过程中,遇到需要转换内容时,往往要使用过渡成分。请看魏巍写的《谁是最可爱的人》中的一个例子:我们的战士,对敌人这样狠,而对朝鲜人民却是那样地爱,充满国际主义的深厚感情。写作当中,有时要用某些词、句、段贯通文意,起桥梁作用,这就叫"过渡"。过渡可以用在一篇文章中几件并列的事情之间,如《谁是最可爱的人》一文中三个事例之间的抒情和议论的段落,使本来各具独立意思的事情有机地联系了起来。过渡还应用在文中顺叙、插叙与倒叙互相转换的时候,如《一件小事》的第二自然段从顺叙转入倒叙,衔接自然紧密。文章中,在变换描写角度时,也需要过渡,如《孔乙己》一文,记述主人公悲惨遭遇的主体部分有两个层次,分别写断腿前后的孔乙己,这两层之间有这样的过渡句:"孔乙己是这样的使人快活,可是没有他,别人也便这么过。"这句话承上启下,使上下文连贯起来。
为了使文章内容衔接紧凑,结构严谨,一篇文章中,前面写到的,中间或结尾要有交代;后面提到的,前面要有所铺垫,这种安排设计叫做"照应"。
常见的照应方法有三种:首尾照应,前后照应,文题照应。这三种方法,在《小桔灯》一文中都有范例。
1、首尾照应:开头写道"这是十几年以前的事了。""在一个春节前一天的下午......"结尾呼应:"但是从那时候起,每逢春节……十二年过去了……"
2、文题照应:全文中,多处照应了题目。如第5段的买桔子,第6、7、8段小姑娘掰开桔子及作小桔灯的动作。
3、前后照应:如第2段对房间陈设的描写,提到竹凳及墙上的电话;第3段写小姑娘登上凳子要打电话的动作;第2段提到朋友有事出去,第11段则交代朋友已经回来了;第9段写小姑娘的话"我爸爸一定会回来的",第12段则呼应"那小姑娘的爸爸一定早回来了"。从《小桔灯》行文的处处照应,没有丝毫疏漏,可见作家冰心的写作技巧,正因为如此,文章才做到细针密线、结构严谨,来龙去脉清晰鲜明。
上面所讲的只是记叙文结构的基本形式,根据不同文章的具体内容,结构形式也要随之变化,不能千篇一律,不能生搬硬套。
与开头一样,文章的结尾也是相当重要的。成功的结尾,能使读者更深入、更透彻地理解文章内容,进一步领会文章的.中心思想;精彩的结尾,能唤起读者的思考与共鸣,增强文章的感染力。选择结尾的方法,也必须从全局来考虑,要使记叙的事件完整清楚,使文章的结构首尾呼应,以求得更好地表达中心,达到写作的目的。下面介绍几种常用的结尾方法。
(1)自然结束法在把内容表达完了之后,自然而然地收束全文,而不去设计蕴意深刻的哲理语句,这样的结尾谓之"自然结束法"。它完全避免了文章画蛇添足、无病呻吟的结尾毛病,显得单纯明快、朴素无华。但讲究"自然"并不意味着随心所欲,马虎草率,而是顺着文思发展的自然趋势结束全局。
(2)画龙点睛法
这种结尾方式,就是在文章结束时,以全文的内容为依托,运用简洁的语言,把主题思想明确地表达出来,或者在全文即将煞尾时,把写作意旨交待清楚,所以这种结尾方法又称"卒章显志法"。如《枣核》结尾写道:"改了国籍,不等于就改了民族感情,而且没有一个民族像我们这么依恋故土的。"《记一辆纺车》结尾写道:"跟困难作斗争,其乐无穷。--记一辆纺车。"
有时,用来总结全文的还可以是名言、警句或诗句,这样的结尾更是言简意赅,起到画龙点睛的作用。如《驿路梨花》的末段"我望着这群充满朝气的哈尼小姑娘和那洁白的梨花,不由得想起了一句话'驿路梨花处处开'。"
(3)抒情议论法
用抒情议论的方式收束文章,能够表达作者心中的情绪,激起读者情感的波澜,引起读者的共鸣,有着强烈的艺术感染力。抒情议论式结尾的形式是多种多样的,所以采取这种方式结尾比较自由,好的"抒情议论"式结尾必然油然而生真情,给读者以真实感、充足感。如《回忆我的母亲》结尾的两个自然段就是很典型的抒情议论式的结尾。鲁迅先生的《故乡》的结尾是最典型的例子:"我想:希望是本无所谓有,无所谓无的。这正如地上的路;其实地上本没有路,走的人多了,也便成了路。"这段议论含蓄、深刻,一语双关。启发人们为创造新生活勇敢地开辟道路,使全文的思想感情得到升华。
(4)首尾呼应法
结尾与开头要相呼应,写出既呼应开头,又不简单重复的语句,这种结尾方式是各类文章极常见的收束方法。这种收束方法能唤起读者心理上的美感,产生一种首尾呼应,浑然一体的感觉。如《一件珍贵的衬衫》,开头写了"在我的家里,珍藏着一种白色的确凉衬衫。"结尾写道:"四年来,这件珍贵的衬衫,我精心地收藏着,没有舍得穿它一次。"前文提到的《谁是最可爱的人》的结尾,也是与文章的开头遥相呼应的。不仅又一次回答了文首提出的"谁是我们最可爱的人呢?"这个问题,而且抒发了强烈的感情,增添了文章的感染力。
(5委婉含蓄,点化主题。有些记叙文的结尾,同时要提示读者注意了解文章的主题,但是作者不是用逻辑思维的方式和直截了当的语言告诉读者,而是用比喻、象征等形象化的方式暗示给读者。例如,杨朔的《荔枝蜜》就是如此:这黑夜,我做了奇怪的梦,梦见自己变成一只小蜜蜂。这里所说的"梦",就是一个有象征意义的形象。常言道:日有所思,夜有所梦。人们可以通过某人的"所梦",推断他的"所思"。因此,读者从这个梦里,可以了解到作者十分赞赏、推崇蜜蜂那种"对人无所求,给人的却是极好的东西"、"渺小""却又多么高尚"的品质,并且愿意身体力行,向蜜蜂学习的愿望。而这正是作者所要表现的主题。不过,它不由作者直截了当地说出来的,而是经过作者的"点化",读者领悟到的。
(6)以人物描写或景物描写结尾。如《花市》结尾写:"她笑微微地站在百花丛中,也像一枝花,像一枝挺秀淡雅的兰花吧。"作者用"一枝挺秀淡雅的兰花"比喻姑娘美好的心灵。
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