四级作文submission阅卷老师【一】
Nowadays, many famous university campuses have become one of the popular tourist attractions. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of middle school students visit Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities in China. In the place far away from the capital city, the local students also visit the universities famous in their own province.
So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for the students to visit the famous university campus in that it can enable the middle students to get more information about the university and they can have enough time and opportunity to prepare themselves with the chance to get into the university. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the public tourism will have negative effect on the universities because it will not only do harm to the environment but also to the intellectual atmosphere.
In my opinion, the tourism to the universities is not a good thing. The campus is mainly a place for study. With the increasing tourism on the campus, it will ruin the spiritual atmosphere in this learning field.
首先，提纯范文 “谋篇布局”及结构模板。
第一段：提出问题或现象。Nowadays, … … have become one of the popular … …. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that … ….
第二段：正反列举人们的看法。So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to … …? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing for … … in that … …. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, … … will have negative effect on … … because it will not only do harm to … … but also to … ….
第三段：摆明自己观点。In my opinion, … … is not a good thing. … … With the increasing … …, it will ruin … ….
其次，提纯范文“段落写作”。
段落写作分为统一性，连贯性和完整性三方面。
统一性(unity：段落开头的主题句应该做到不可太宽泛，也不可太具体，做到有较强的概括性才能使下文做到有的放矢的展开。范文第二段首句以设问的方式提出一个问题is it a good or bad thing就有很强的概况性。下文自然会一方面从好的方面说明，另一方面从坏的方面说明。
连贯性(coherence：关联词是使文章段落之间相互连贯的必要条件。范文中nowadays, on one hand, on the other hand, in one’s opinion即以“启承转合”递进的顺序是文章条理清晰，层层展开。
完整性(completeness：以设问句“So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to open the university campus for tourists?”开头，这是平时较少运用的段落写作方式——设问法。“On one hand … …. On the other hand, … ….”是段落写作分类列举法的典型用法。
再次，提纯范文“句子写作”。
1. It has been shown that … …
类似句型：It is known to us that … …
It is said that … …
It is reported that … …
It is controversial that … …
2. “… … Tsing Hua University and Peking University and other famous universities … …。”——并列句。并列句是简单的复杂句。但其运用方法并不简单，注意练习并接句的使用，会使句子显的更加饱满。
3. enable v. 使…能够
I gave him full directions to enable him to find the house.
4. in that = because
表“因为”的连词还有since, for, as，如：
The boy was absent because he was ill. = The boy was absent since he was ill.
此句以我们常用的人称开头，句式简单，我们可以通过把since提前改变句式，如：
Since the boy was ill, he was absent. 句式多样化。
最后，提纯范文“措辞”。
1. attraction n. 具有吸引力的事情。
2. thousands and thousands 成千上万的
形容“多”的表达方法：millions and millions
a multitude of
a great deal of
a large amount of
plenty of
many a
3. “some people argued that … …”中的“argue”并不是“讨论，辩论”的意思，而是“认为”。
I argue that … …
I maintain that … …
I claim that … …
I insist that … … = I think that … …
I hold that … …
I assert that … …
I assume that … …
4. negative adj. 否定的.，相反的
hold negative view = hold opposite opinions
5. phenomenon n. 现象
social phenomenon 社会现象
natural phenomenon 自然现象
6. intellectual adj. 聪明的= intelligent, bright, clever
(选词策略：使用最近所学的单词，如intellectual > intelligent > bright > clever
在分析并掌握范文之后，我们需要运用范文知识练习仿写。笔者运用2005年12月范文中的模板结构仿写了2006年12月的四级作文，以供参考：
1. 许多人喜欢在除夕夜看春节晚会
2. 但有些人提出取消春节晚会
3. 我的看法
Nowadays, the Spring Festival Evening has become one of the popular topic and attractions during every traditional New Year’s Eve. It has been shown on TV and on the radio that every year thousands and thousands of Chinese people appear to be accustomed to enjoying the sights and sounds of a brilliant feast, while gathering with their beloved family.
However, an increasing number of people have voiced different opinions towards it. So far as the present situation is concerned, is it a good or bad thing to cancel the Spring Festival Evening? Different people have different opinions. On one hand, some people argued that it is a good thing to amuse the audience in that it is composed by a numerous adequate programs, such as the emotional song, the graceful dance, the funny short sketch, the amusing comic dialogue, the delightful magic, and the marvelous acrobatics and so on. On the other hand, some people hold a negative view about this phenomenon. In their opinion, the Spring Festival Evening will have negative effect on the family harmony because it will not only do harm to having the talks between family members on the Spring Festival Eve but also to enjoying the gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant.
In my opinion, the Spring Festival Evening is a good thing. It may not remain a must for all people, but it can bring us a strong sense of festivity and serve as an alternative among the variety of holiday activities. With the increasing audience of the Spring Festival Evening, it will ruin a distinctive culture during the Spring Festival vacation.
四级作文submission阅卷老师【二】
分析范文或优秀作文是我们学好写作的第一步。不要小看任何的优秀小短文，那其中一定有需要你掌握的内容。To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
一沙一世界，
一花一天堂，
手中即无限，
永恒亦短暂。
四级作文submission阅卷老师【三】
议论文是论述问题的，当然要有一定的思路，即议论文各部分之间要有必然的内在联系。我们知道，议论文是论证问题的，你在提出议论文论点后，就要摆事实，讲道理，让你提出的论点令人信服地确立起来。因此，中心论点和各分论点之间就应当是因果联系，即中心论点是“果”，分论点是“因”。这个因果联系就是议论文的思路之“格”。
作为一个高中生的议论文作文，最起码要做到在中心论点和各分论点之间，论点和论据之间要有一定的因果联系。
学生提出中心论点后，只要围绕中心论点问一个“为什么”，就能找到提出分论点的方向。如中心论点是“只有坚守，才能使人的思想品德升华，才能成就一番事业”。稍加分析，就可发现这个观点是在说“坚守”的重要性，于是，分论点就要回答“为什么坚守很重要”这个问题。那么就可从“为什么”和“何果”这两个向度来立分论点。如“坚守是一种执着，使绝望变成希望”，“坚守是一种信念，使普通变得高尚”，“坚守是一种职责，使平凡变得伟大”。如果我们要检验这三个分论点和中心论点之间有没有必然的内在联系的话，只需在这三个分论点之前加上“因为”，在“坚守很重要”之前加上“所以”，再连起来念一下即可。
同样，分论点和议论文的论据之间，也应当是因果联系。如在“坚守是一种职责，使平凡变得伟大”这个分论点后面，就可这样展开论述：“边防战士的坚守，使国家安定祥和；人民教师的坚守，使桃李满天下；白衣天使的坚守，使病魔为之屈服。”又如在“自由是思想的漫飞”这个分论点下可以这样展开论述：“行动可以受制于客观现实，思想却永远享受绝对的自由。有了这份思想的自由，才有了集豪放与浪漫于一身的诗仙李白；才有了身陷囹圄还在感叹“故国不堪回首月明中”的落魄后主李煜；才有了向往“面朝大海，春暖花开”的天才诗人海子。总之，因为这份思想的自由，社会才会在其牵引之下不断地进步，才会创造出一个个永载史册的人类奇迹。”
