2020合肥中考英语作文批改【一】
I was born in a beautiful town with high mountains around it.The mountains are covered with all kinds of green bamboo.Through the town runs a small stream.It’s said that a new railway is going to be built to the east of the town and a bamboo factory to the west.All the children of the school age can go to school.If anyone is ill,he can go to see the doctor in the newly-built hospital.People in the town are hard-working and never take the backwardness lying down.Though they are having a richer and better life,they are not satisfied with what they have got.They are working hard to build their town into a modern one.
2020合肥中考英语作文批改【二】
1、文章选材新颖，这件事，乡村生活气息浓郁，富有儿童情趣。读后令人身心愉悦，舒畅。
2。文章不仅表达了作者对父亲的爱，更多的是思念，不露雕琢痕迹而颇有情韵，描写生动，特别是词语和语句方面都很恰当，语言与风格：富有浪漫主义色彩，引起读者的阅读兴趣。
3、文章真实感强，立体感强，可读性强，趣味性强。以敏锐的社会洞察力，以童话反映现实阴暗面，并以生动的语言，描绘出一幅幅贪婪众生相，称得上入木三分。
4、本文以……为线索，使用权文章连贯，流畅，衔接自然，同时，通过前后具体事例的对比。文章语言生动丰富，可读性强。
5、能过合理的想象，反映出意味深长的哲理，行文流畅，简洁，充分发挥了自己的想像力，文章清逸婉丽，流畅连贯，尤其人物语言幽默风趣，再加上一些精妙词语的使用，无形中为文章增添了不少情趣。
6、文章真实生动，情真意切，特别是……使用权文章极具感染力，发人深思。
7、叙述事情条理清晰，能正确地使用动词，运用比喻贴切，生动。献计献策读后能从中受到教育。
8、朴实自然的童心体现在文中，使文章散发着清新活泼的气息。
9、这篇文章以具体的事例，生动优美的语言，新颖别致的写法，表现了对美好心灵的由衷赞。
10、本文主要优点有三：
（1）本文能紧扣题目要求，完整地写了……的过程。
（2）结构严谨，重点突出。
（3）语言朴实，简洁，流畅，开头和结尾都很自然，准确。
11、开头简洁自然，结构清晰，心理描写真实，体现出作者良好的语言驾驭能力。
12、这篇短文的特点可概括为亲切，温馨，隽永。
13、文中描绘的……清新活泼，欢快明朗。字里行间跳动着的童心，使文章也有了生命力。
14、文章凭着丰富的想象，凭着多彩的`语言，将……呈现读者面前。
15、文章简洁明了，语言平淡朴实。
16、外貌描写形神兼备，人物形象突出。可贵的是曲笔入题，引起读者的阅读兴趣。
17、对……生动而详细的叙述，是本文的一天特色，也体现了作者观察的敏锐与细致。这是文章成功的一大要素。
18、文章来源于生活，小作者很会在生活中捕捉素材，是啊，如果没有清洁工，我们的环境将会变得不堪入目。文章语言朴实，人物的言行符合各自的身份特点，生活气息浓厚。
19、本文是一篇较为成熟的叙事明理之作，文章以准确流畅的语言，展示了实验的全过程，跌宕起伏，妙趣横生。小作者观察仔细，叙述时井然有序，对人物的描写，能切中要害，详尽而全面。文章读来饶有兴味。
20、文章开头交待得分清楚，起到总领全文的作用。结尾处寥寥数语，显示了作者探索科学奥秘的远大理想和坚定信心，催人奋进。
2020合肥中考英语作文批改【三】
1。 头绪分明，脉络清楚
写好记叙文，首先要头绪分明，脉络清楚，明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析，弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程，然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”，但动笔之前，围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心，详略得当
在文章的框架确定后，对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍，应该从表现文章主题的需要出发，分清主次，定好详略。要突出重点，详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节，略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化，使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题，也需要一定的技巧。如：
One night a man came to our house and told me， "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family， I saw the faces of those little children disfigured （破坏外貌） by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces， just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two， and went out， carrying half the rice。 When she came back， I asked her， "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer， "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言，准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动，又要表现力强，这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动，其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文：
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then， two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money， but they didn＇t take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后：
The other day， five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time， he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home， he started and crying。 Just then， two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy， why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom， I go home。" said the boy， still crying。
"Don＇t worry， we＇ll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy＇s house。 With the help of a policeman， they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound， she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully， she offered them some money， saying it was a way to express her thanks， but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
2020合肥中考英语作文批改【四】
1。 叙述的人称
英语的记叙文一般是以第一或第三人称的角度来叙述的。用第一称表示的是由叙述者亲眼所见、亲耳所闻的经历。它的优点在于能把故事的情节通过“我”来传达给读者，使人到真实可信，如身临其境。如：
The other day， I was driving along the street。 Suddenly， a car lost its control and ran directly towards me fast。 I was so frightened that I quickly turned to the left side。 But it was too late。 The car hit my bike and I fell off it。
用第三人称叙述，优点在于叙述者不受“我”活动范围以内的人和事物的限制，而是通过作者与读者之外的第三者，直接把故事中的情节展现在读者面前，文章的客观性很强。如：
Little Tom was going to school with an umbrella， for it was raining hard。 On the way， he saw an old woman walking in the rain with nothing to cover。 Tom went up to the old woman and wanted to share the umbrella with her， but he was too short。 What could he do? Then he had a good idea。
2。 动词的时态
在记叙文中，记和叙都离不开动词。所以动词出现率最高，且富于变化。记叙文中用得最多的是动词的过去的'，这是英语记叙文区别于汉语记叙文的关键之处。英语写作的优美之处就在于这些动词时态的变化，正是这一点才使得所记、所叙有鲜活的动态感、鲜明的层次感和立体感。
3。 叙述的顺序
记叙一件事要有一定的顺序。无论是顺叙、倒叙、插叙还是补叙，都要让读者能弄清事情的来龙去脉。顺叙最容易操作，较容易给读者提供有关事情的空间和时间线索。但这种方法也容易使文章显得平铺直叙，读起来平淡乏味。倒叙、插叙、补叙等叙述方法能有效地提高文章的结构效果，让所叙之事跌宕起伏，使读者在阅读时思维产生较大的跳跃，从而为文章所吸引，深入其中。但这些方法如果使用不当，则容易弄巧成拙，使文章结构散乱，头绪不清，让读者不知所云。
4。 叙述的过渡
过渡在上下文中起着承上启下、融会贯通的作用。过渡往往用在地点转移或时间、事件转换以及由概括说明到具体叙述时。如：
In my summer holidays， I did a lot of things。 Apart form doing my homework， reading an English novel， watching TV and doing some housework， I went on a trip to Qingdao。 It is really a beautiful city。 There are many places of interest to see。 But what impressed me most was the sunrise。
The next morning I got up early。 I was very happy because it was a fine day。 By the time I got to the beach， the clouds on the horizon were turning red。 In a little while， a small part of the sun was gradually appearing。 The sun was very red， not shining。 It rose slowly。 At last it broke through the red clouds and jumped above the sea， just like a deep-red ball。 At the same time the clouds and the sea water became red and bright。
What a moving and unforgettable scene!
5。 叙述与对话
引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是记叙文提高表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述，可以客观生动地反映人物的性格、品质和心理状态，使记叙生动、有趣，使文章内容更加充实、具体。试比较下面两段的叙述效果：
I was in the kitchen， and I was cooking something。 Suddenly I heard a loud noise from the front。 I thought maybe someone was knocking the door。 I asked who it was but I heard no reply。 After a while I saw my cat running across the parlor。 I realized it was the cat。 I felt released。
这本来应是一段故事性很强的文字，但经作者这么一写，就不那么吸引人了。原因是文中用的都是叙述模式，没有人物语言，把“悬念”给冲淡了。可作如下调整：
I was in the kitchen cooking something。 "Crash!" a loud noise came from the front。 Thinking someone was knocking at the door， I asked， "Who?" No reply。 After a while， I saw my cat running across the parlor。 "It＇s you。" I said， quite released。
