妈妈悄悄告诉我,过年前,爸爸准备用奖金买一台液晶电视。我高兴极了,默默地盼着这天的早日来临。
可是就在昨天,当我放学回到家后,爸爸正在房间里翻着什么东西,然后拿出一个大大的纸包,急匆匆地走了。
我疑惑不解。那纸包,会不会装着钱?我望着家里破旧的电视,想起妈妈说的话,笑了起来。哈哈,爸爸肯定是去买液晶电视去了!我默默想好了计划,准备在生日那天邀请同学们来看“家庭影院”。于是我跑到客厅,拿了瓶果汁,准备犒赏爸爸“凯旋归来”。
过了一个小时,爸爸回来了,可是他两手空空。我按捺不住心中的激动,兴冲冲地走了上去,问:“爸爸,你去干嘛了?”
爸爸望着我,严肃地说:“去为同事捐款了!”
“捐什么款?”我被搞得一头雾水,“你不是去买液晶电视了么?”
这时,妈妈走了过来。他告诉我,液晶电视暂时不买了,爸爸的同时一家天然气中毒,老人也住进了医院,全厂职工都在募捐,作为厂长的爸爸也送去了二千元钱。
顿时,我的心凉了半截,我仿佛看见近在咫尺的液晶电视瞬间化为了灰烬,自己打的小算盘全都泡汤了。我生气地说:“别人煤气中毒了你捐这么多干嘛?我们又不是富翁!”
“你怎么能这么说?”爸爸严肃地说,“职工们都为长出了一份力,他们生病了我怎么能坐视不管?如果不捐,别人会怎样看我?他们都是厂的一部分,我就应该关心他们。”
半晌,我哑口无言。但是心里却依然很生气。过了几天,我一直对爸爸不闻不问,打起了“冷战”。
一个星期后的早上,我听见有人在敲门。原来是厂里煤气中毒的那位职工特地来感谢的。我看见一条闪闪发光的大鲤鱼正拿在他的手上,想必是送给爸爸的。于是,我感兴趣地在旁边偷偷挺了起来。
那位职工激动地说:“谢谢你厂长,在我们有难时帮助我们,我听说还用完了你的年终奖,所以这……”
话还没说完,就被爸爸打断了。爸爸说:“区区小事何以挂齿?这是我应该的!这鱼……拿去给你爸妈吃吧!”
职工看爸爸这样也不强求,感谢了一阵便离开了。我也明白了爸爸为什么要这样做。于是我大步走上。
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
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