感动,就是春冬交替的冻土经历了一场春暖花开。
那一次,我的心也仿佛乍醒的土地,被父爱的暖阳笼罩。
我不够乐观,常常抱怨。每每放学回家,我便将积蓄了一天的不满与烦闷发泄给他——父亲。而父亲虽也工作压身却总是耐心关照着我,“最近暖气停了冷不冷啊?”饭桌上父亲边将一筷子菜夹进我的碗里,边询问着,热情却掩不住他声音里的沙哑。我知道他已经感冒一周,昨夜的加班更使他本就憔悴的脸上蒙上了一层黯淡,而他的脸上依旧挂着微笑。“咳咳……”他赶忙捂住了口鼻,憋着气硬止住咳嗽,脸憋得通红。我有些心酸,有些担忧地望向他。他憨憨一笑摇摇头,“吃饭吧,多吃点,”说着又将一筷子菜夹进我碗里。望着他和蔼的眸子,我心中有一股暖流涌动。
停了暖气的屋子格外冷清,只有羽绒服布面的摩擦在嘶嘶作响。忽然,一阵嘈杂的声音从客厅传来,随即父亲推门进来。“挺冷的吧?这电热扇放你屋吧,会暖和点。”他一边憨笑说着,一边将电热扇放置在地上,从肩上抽出一条抹布,便开始擦拭按钮。我的心一颤,只觉得一股暖流袭遍全身,方才的寒冷全部烟消云散。
父亲屈着右腿蹲在电热扇跟前,他微胖的身体显得很是吃力。不一会他便站了起来,喘了几口粗气,却又立刻在电源旁蹲下,翻动着一根根电线,检查着。不一会他干脆将一只手撑在地上,将屈着的右腿跪在地上,继续检查电源的安全,生怕有一丝疏漏。又柔声说到“你安心写作业,不用管我。”语末他又要咳嗽却又硬止住,向电热扇审视片刻后终于放心的打开了开关。
金色的光芒立刻笼罩起整个屋子,我望向父亲,房间里的余光为他的脸上镶上了金色轮廓,金色的光辉嵌进了他每一条皱纹里,父爱也在熠熠生辉!此时,父爱的热度温暖着我,我的心里充斥着幸福与感动。
父亲总是这样,这般乐观,这般无私,他承担着家庭的一切,却毫无怨言,依旧以乐观的态度面对生活,依旧对我关怀备至。他所做的一切,无不带给我感动与动力。
父亲不仅带给我内心春暖花开的感动,也让我懂得了乐观地面对生活,让我的未来春暖花开,充满阳光。
1。 头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
2。 突出中心,详略得当
在文章的框架确定后,对支持故事的素材的选取是很关键的。选材要注意取舍,应该从表现文章主题的需要出发,分清主次,定好详略。要突出重点,详写细述那些能表现文章主题的重要情节,略写粗述那么非关键的次要情节。面面俱到反而使情节罗列化,使人不得要领。这一点是写好记叙文要解决的一个基本问题,也需要一定的技巧。如:
One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children。 They have not eaten for days。" I took some food with me and went。
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger。 There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger。
I gave the rice to the mother。 She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice。 When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3。 用活语言,准确生动
记叙文要用具体的事件和生动的语言对人、事、物加以叙述。一篇好的记叙文的语言既要准确、生动,又要表现力强,这样才能把人、事描写得具体生动,其可读性才强。试比较下面一篇例文修改的前后效果。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away。 He was soon lost among people and traffic。 He could not find the way back home and started crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying。 They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened。 Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived。 The two students decided to take him home。 Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound。 She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it。 She served them with tea but they left。
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street。 After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home。 But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic。 When he could not find the way home, he started and crying。 Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop。 They immediately went up to him。
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked。
"I want Mom, I go home。" said the boy, still crying。
"Don't worry, we'll send you home。"
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house。 With the help of a policeman, they finally found it。
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house。 Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea。
每一个考生都想努力做到作文材料新鲜,给阅卷者以耳目一新的感觉。这当然不错,但材料本身的新鲜还要运用得精巧,只有两者结合,才能所向无敌。
素材活用通常包括:一材多用法、反弹琵琶法、组合排比法、避熟求生法、故事新编法等。
1.一材多用法。同一个素材,从不同的角度和侧面去发散思考,整合提炼,就会有不同的妙用。这些角度可以是情感的、哲理的;可以是实用的、科学的、审美的;还可以是历史文化的、地域风情的……
2.反弹琵琶法。同学们使用素材时多是用材料本身所表现出来的方向,或正面,或反面。这是素材运用的一般技巧。反弹琵琶,是运用逆向思维,对素材的内涵加以延伸发掘后,从反面的角度对素材进行重新使用。
3.组合排比法。是指将同类材料进行精要的表述,组合在同一段落中,共同说明同一论点。其好处是显得滔滔不绝,材料充实,理直气壮,可以收到良好的效果。在组合时,语言表达要精要整齐,要按时间先后、由远到近、由主到次等顺序排列。
4.避熟求生法。是指材料选择上尽量避开大家熟悉的,使用大家不熟悉的。这些材料能够反映时代精神,给人以新鲜感。当然,有些材料,从它诞生的时代看,未必属于新材料,但是由于人们知之不多或用之不多,因而也具有相当的新鲜感。
5.故事新编法。是根据表现主题的需要选取人物、情节并作一番改造,形成新的故事情节,人物形象总体改变不大,大致保持原作风貌。这样的故事既可以避免胡编乱造,又可以在新的时代背景下使故事增加许多趣味性,令人爱读。
1。 叙述的人称
英语的记叙文一般是以第一或第三人称的角度来叙述的。用第一称表示的是由叙述者亲眼所见、亲耳所闻的经历。它的优点在于能把故事的情节通过“我”来传达给读者,使人到真实可信,如身临其境。如:
The other day, I was driving along the street。 Suddenly, a car lost its control and ran directly towards me fast。 I was so frightened that I quickly turned to the left side。 But it was too late。 The car hit my bike and I fell off it。
用第三人称叙述,优点在于叙述者不受“我”活动范围以内的人和事物的限制,而是通过作者与读者之外的第三者,直接把故事中的情节展现在读者面前,文章的客观性很强。如:
Little Tom was going to school with an umbrella, for it was raining hard。 On the way, he saw an old woman walking in the rain with nothing to cover。 Tom went up to the old woman and wanted to share the umbrella with her, but he was too short。 What could he do? Then he had a good idea。
2。 动词的时态
在记叙文中,记和叙都离不开动词。所以动词出现率最高,且富于变化。记叙文中用得最多的是动词的过去的',这是英语记叙文区别于汉语记叙文的关键之处。英语写作的优美之处就在于这些动词时态的变化,正是这一点才使得所记、所叙有鲜活的动态感、鲜明的层次感和立体感。
3。 叙述的顺序
记叙一件事要有一定的顺序。无论是顺叙、倒叙、插叙还是补叙,都要让读者能弄清事情的来龙去脉。顺叙最容易操作,较容易给读者提供有关事情的空间和时间线索。但这种方法也容易使文章显得平铺直叙,读起来平淡乏味。倒叙、插叙、补叙等叙述方法能有效地提高文章的结构效果,让所叙之事跌宕起伏,使读者在阅读时思维产生较大的跳跃,从而为文章所吸引,深入其中。但这些方法如果使用不当,则容易弄巧成拙,使文章结构散乱,头绪不清,让读者不知所云。
4。 叙述的过渡
过渡在上下文中起着承上启下、融会贯通的作用。过渡往往用在地点转移或时间、事件转换以及由概括说明到具体叙述时。如:
In my summer holidays, I did a lot of things。 Apart form doing my homework, reading an English novel, watching TV and doing some housework, I went on a trip to Qingdao。 It is really a beautiful city。 There are many places of interest to see。 But what impressed me most was the sunrise。
The next morning I got up early。 I was very happy because it was a fine day。 By the time I got to the beach, the clouds on the horizon were turning red。 In a little while, a small part of the sun was gradually appearing。 The sun was very red, not shining。 It rose slowly。 At last it broke through the red clouds and jumped above the sea, just like a deep-red ball。 At the same time the clouds and the sea water became red and bright。
What a moving and unforgettable scene!
5。 叙述与对话
引用故事情节中主要人物的对话是记叙文提高表现力的一种好方法。适当地用直接引语代替间接的主观叙述,可以客观生动地反映人物的性格、品质和心理状态,使记叙生动、有趣,使文章内容更加充实、具体。试比较下面两段的叙述效果:
I was in the kitchen, and I was cooking something。 Suddenly I heard a loud noise from the front。 I thought maybe someone was knocking the door。 I asked who it was but I heard no reply。 After a while I saw my cat running across the parlor。 I realized it was the cat。 I felt released。
这本来应是一段故事性很强的文字,但经作者这么一写,就不那么吸引人了。原因是文中用的都是叙述模式,没有人物语言,把“悬念”给冲淡了。可作如下调整:
I was in the kitchen cooking something。 "Crash!" a loud noise came from the front。 Thinking someone was knocking at the door, I asked, "Who?" No reply。 After a while, I saw my cat running across the parlor。 "It's you。" I said, quite released。
Last Sunday, Jim went out to fly a kite. The kite flew highly in the sky. Jim ran with it happily.
Suddenly the line was broken and the kite flew away. Soon it disappeared. Where was it?
Jim had no idea. So he had to run here and there to look for the kite. At last he saw it on the top of the tree. He tried to get it down. But he couldn’t. He felt sad.
人世间,感动无处不在。
一个雪花飞舞的冬天,我手里捧着一本《水浒传》津津有味地看着。看完了,我心中有一阵说不出的感动,不禁仰天长叹:“梁山的108位好汉个个具有忠孝仁义的美好品质,真让我感动啊!”
为忠,这108位英雄个个不畏战场,为报效朝廷,他们鞠躬尽瘁,而后已,他们不惜战沙场,献出自己年轻的生命。他们不畏敌、不怕、不甘心、不投降。更令我感动的是:水军头领之一“阮小二”在被敌军捉住时,毅然拔出腰刀自尽,他为的就是不受敌人的羞辱;他为的就是不说出宋江等人的军事秘密。再说猛将秦明,他出战时,被敌人团团包围而被敌军的乱刀剁为肉酱。我猛然怔住了。难道猛将秦明就这样了吗?这时,我才第一次感到这108将每个人的名字是如此之大,让我好感动。
为孝,黑旋风李逵冒着官府捉拿他的危险下山去接年逾八旬的老母,不料老母被猛虎咬,李逵竟一人了四只老虎。我惊叹道:“原以为铁牛是一代莽夫,谁料他有此番孝心,真让我感动!”
为仁,梁山头领宋江不仅宽恕了屡次冒犯他的董平和张清,还邀请他们加入梁山108将。其他的100多位将领很不服气,宋江便折箭为誓:“谁再反对,便于刀剑之下!”这时,我再次被打动了:“是什么使宋江手下留情的呢?”后来我明白了,正是因为他心中的仁慈使他放过两人,这种巨大的力量,是任何东西也阻拦不了的。
为义,众兄弟们同甘共苦、同生共。为保护头领宋江,他们赴汤蹈火,在所不惜,共同把小小的梁山水泊推向辉煌,这令人振奋的精神触动了我幼小的心灵,我被他们这种世间难得的义气所深深感动。
我震撼了!梁山的108位好汉啊!你们虽被人称为“草寇”,却拥有着一个不朽的灵魂!这一切的一切都让我好感动,好感动……
我震惊了!梁山的`108位英雄啊!你们有的人战沙场,有的被奸臣所害。我多么替你们打抱不平,你们那种义无返顾的“忠、孝、仁、义”是多么难能可贵,让我好感动,好感动……
感动,就是春冬交替的冻土经历了一场春暖花开。
那一次,我的'心也仿佛乍醒的土地,被父爱的暖阳笼罩。
我不够乐观,常常抱怨。每每放学回家,我便将积蓄了一天的不满与烦闷发泄给他——父亲。而父亲虽也工作压身却总是耐心关照着我,“最近暖气停了冷不冷啊?”饭桌上父亲边将一筷子菜夹进我的碗里,边询问着,热情却掩不住他声音里的沙哑。我知道他已经感冒一周,昨夜的加班更使他本就憔悴的脸上蒙上了一层黯淡,而他的脸上依旧挂着微笑。“咳咳……”他赶忙捂住了口鼻,憋着气硬止住咳嗽,脸憋得通红。我有些心酸,有些担忧地望向他。他憨憨一笑摇摇头,“吃饭吧,多吃点,”说着又将一筷子菜夹进我碗里。望着他和蔼的眸子,我心中有一股暖流涌动。
停了暖气的屋子格外冷清,只有羽绒服布面的摩擦在嘶嘶作响。忽然,一阵嘈杂的声音从客厅传来,随即父亲推门进来。“挺冷的吧?这电热扇放你屋吧,会暖和点。”他一边憨笑说着,一边将电热扇放置在地上,从肩上抽出一条抹布,便开始擦拭按钮。我的心一颤,只觉得一股暖流袭遍全身,方才的寒冷全部烟消云散。
父亲屈着右腿蹲在电热扇跟前,他微胖的身体显得很是吃力。不一会他便站了起来,喘了几口粗气,却又立刻在电源旁蹲下,翻动着一根根电线,检查着。不一会他干脆将一只手撑在地上,将屈着的右腿跪在地上,继续检查电源的安全,生怕有一丝疏漏。又柔声说到“你安心写作业,不用管我。”语末他又要咳嗽却又硬止住,向电热扇审视片刻后终于放心的打开了开关。
金色的光芒立刻笼罩起整个屋子,我望向父亲,房间里的余光为他的脸上镶上了金色轮廓,金色的光辉嵌进了他每一条皱纹里,父爱也在熠熠生辉!此时,父爱的热度温暖着我,我的心里充斥着幸福与感动。
父亲总是这样,这般乐观,这般无私,他承担着家庭的一切,却毫无怨言,依旧以乐观的态度面对生活,依旧对我关怀备至。他所做的一切,无不带给我感动与动力。
父亲不仅带给我内心春暖花开的感动,也让我懂得了乐观地面对生活,让我的未来春暖花开,充满阳光。
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